Sir?’
‘No, but she is about my build. You can use me as a model.’
Half an hour later we emerged from the shop, and Mr Ambrose was carrying a large package.
‘If this is going to be a waste of my money, you will be deeply, deeply sorry, Mr Linton,’ he said, his voice as cool as ice.
‘Don’t worry. The onions will be cheap, I promise.’
*~*~**~*~*
‘This is in contradiction to our agreement!’ Mr Ambrose told me, quiet menace in his voice.
We were back at Empire House. All of us - Mr Ambrose, Karim, Warren and his cronies were assembled in the hallway in front of Mr Ambrose’s office. Mr Stone, who normally occupied the desk here, was nowhere in sight. Maybe Mr Ambrose had given him the day off. More likely though, he’d sent him to slave in some other part of the building while we conducted our secret business here.
‘It is not,’ I said, cutting open the first string that held together the package containing the dress.
‘It is. I only accepted you under the condition that you would pretend to be a man while working for me.’
‘And I will,’ I said patting the dress fondly. ‘I will pretend to be a man pretending to be a woman.’
‘You…’ Mr Ambrose might have said something else, but for the moment he seemed lost for words. Then he demanded: ‘And this is really necessary for that infernal plan of yours? You are not just doing this to anger me?’
I gave him my brightest, most happy smile. I was smiling a lot lately. But why the heck not? Thief hunting was fun! ‘Now why would I do something like that, Sir?’
Before he could reply or try to throttle me, I vanished into my office and locked the door behind me.
‘Err… Sir?’ Warren’s voice, muffled by the door, was as nervous as it was curious. ‘What is he doing in there?’
‘Apparently,’ Mr Ambrose said, his voice as arctic as ever, ‘Mr Linton’s plan requires a female participant. Since we have none available, Mr Linton will impersonate one.’
‘Will that work?’
‘Oh yes. Take my word for it, Mr Linton is famous for his impersonations.’
Dear me. Mr Ambrose was capable of sarcasm? Wonder of wonders…
As quickly as I could, I stripped. Then I took out the dress Mr Ambrose had so ungraciously provided and proceeded to put it on.
Dressing took considerably longer than stripping. Not having Ella to help me this time, it took especially long to squeeze myself into the blasted corset. Finally, I was finished and took out a small mirror, about the only useful item ladies were allowed to carry.
My hair still looked a bit windswept, but that was not a problem. On the contrary, it would work to my advantage. The dress looked just as it was supposed to look. The tailor had really done a spiffing job.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped towards the door. Now for the first test. I opened the door, stepped out and did a little twirl.
‘Well? What do you say, gentlemen?’
All of them were looking at me with interested expressions. Well, all apart from Mr Ambrose, who didn’t have an expression on his stony face, and Karim, who had an expression but not one that I would like to describe.
Warren stepped forward and nodded slowly.
‘I’ve got to hand it to you, Mr Linton, you know what you’re doing. You look almost like a genuine girl.’
I raised an eyebrow. ‘Almost?’
‘Well, you know…’ he waved a hand in the air. ‘When one knows the truth one isn’t as easily fooled as everybody else. One just sees those little signs that indicate something is not quite right about you.’
‘You can say that again.’