‘We should go,’ I say, my voice harsh.
‘Yes, run. Run as far as you want, but you can never run away from the knowledge that you can do more for her. Much more. You can bring her back.’
I open the door. Yes, I’m running away. I have to. I can’t let her go on. She doesn’t know: I’ve got nothing. There is nothing in me worth believing in. I’m the reason Dahlia is lying there, bandaged, silent, with machines keeping her alive.
Thirty-two
Daisy Fury
‘Mom, do you mind if I just have a moment alone with Dahlia?’ I ask.
‘Of course not. I’ll just go get a cup of coffee,’ mom replies, and bustles out of the room.
I go close to Dahlia. Her injuries are severe, but they are all internal. Except for the tube in her mouth, her face is as clean and pure as a sleeping angel. Looking at her I still can’t believe what has happened. When I first wake up in the morning and I am still foggy with sleep, the thought of Dahlia being hurt in a bomb blast feels like it must have been a nightmare from the night before.
‘Mom and me have to go back this evening, Dahlia,’ I tell her, stroking her skin tenderly. ‘You know that promotion I was talking about? Well, turns out being management means you can never take time off unless you book it well in advance. I’ve been told that if I don’t go back soon I’ll lose my job. We need the money, especially now, with you being ill and not able to send money back anymore. I’ll have to support Mom on my own.’
I clear my throat.
‘I feel really, really bad, but Stella—I really, really like her by the way—said there is no point in my staying, and that coma, or no coma, you wouldn’t want me to hang around doing nothing. Especially since, in her own words, “you’re a fat lot of good to her staying here.” She’s funny, your Stella.’
There is truly nothing to chuckle about, but I force one.
‘Anyway, the good thing is Stella said that as soon as you get out of ICU and she’s allowed to bring her phone into your room, she’ll either FaceTime or Skype me so Mom and me can see you and talk to you.’
I pause.
‘Mom really wanted me to leave her here with you, but she looks so lost and frightened, Dahlia. Without me here she’d be an emotional wreck and of no use to you anyway, so I’m taking her back with me. I’m afraid she might go into a deep depression. It’ll be better for her to be home with all the things she’s familiar with.’
There is no reply but the steady rasp of the machine breathing for her.
‘Besides, Zane says we can come back anytime, and he’ll even pay for us so we’ll both be back real soon.’
I bend down and kiss her cool cheek.
‘I’ll pray for you. I’ll pray real hard, sis. You will get better. I know you will.’
Dahlia makes no response.
I go really close to her ear and whisper, ‘I know it was Zane that took me and I forgive him. So there is nothing for you to worry about or feel guilty about. I love you with all my heart.’
I think I must have really believed that she would open her eyes then, but she doesn’t. I straighten, and bite back the sob that rises up my throat at the thought of leaving her.
‘Bye bye, Dahlia. I love you,’ I say, my fingers trailing on her skin.
I go outside and my mother is standing in the middle of the corridor.
‘I thought you were going to get yourself some coffee,’ I say.
‘I changed my mind,’ she says, but in such a small voice I realize she was probably too frightened to go and get it in case she got lost in this maze of corridors. She has never been to England before. It’s all so foreign and frightening to her. Seeing her standing there makes me feel a bit better about my decision not to leave her behind.
I will have to trust in Zane’s love. At least for now.
I call Noah. ‘I’d like to see Zane before we leave today,’ I say.
‘Sure. I’ll arrange something with him and call you back.’
Zane
‘Do you believe in miracles?’ Daisy asks.
I shake my head slowly.
She smiles, a thing that makes her glow like she is lit up from the inside. ‘I do. I believe miracles happen all the time. My rescue was a miracle.’
I keep my face expressionless. Her rescue was no miracle. It was a ruthless gamble. A brutal mating technique.
She comes closer and again I have that uncomfortable sensation to move back. Perhaps because she is too pure, too innocent. It’s like a sinner going too close to the altar.