Three
Dahlia Fury
I wake up the next morning alone, touch the indent in the pillow, and sigh. I have no idea where he is or when I will see him again. My relationship with Zane reminds me of a falconer training a wild falcon. He brings the bird to ‘flying weight’. It is a euphemism for keeping the bird hungry. Only through small gifts of food will it recognize the falconer as a benevolent master and hunt for him. Like a falcon in training I feel underfed for his attention.
I get out of bed, use the bathroom, and going up to my own room get dressed before I go downstairs to the kitchen. Yuri is sitting at the counter. When he sees me he nods in acknowledgement, but his eyes slide away quickly.
‘Good morning,’ I say with as much dignity as I can muster. He saw me fall down the last few stairs yesterday. I turn towards Olga. She is standing on tiptoe putting something away in a top cupboard. She pops her head out from behind the door of the cupboard and smiles cheerfully. ‘Good morning.’
‘Can I please have a word with you, Olga?’
Yuri stands up and brushes crumbs off his clothes. ‘Right I’m off.’
I watch him leave and take the seat next to the one he just vacated. Olga closes the cupboard, goes to the coffee machine comes back with a mug of coffee that she puts in front of me.
‘Thanks Olga,’ I say and take a sip.
She sits opposite me. ‘So … how can Olga help?’
‘I wanted to ask you something.’
‘Hmmm …’
‘Last night you said that I have a chance of finding a way to Zane … well, Aleksandr’s heart.’
‘Yes, I said that.’
‘What made you say that?’
She tilts her head and regards me speculatively. ‘Because he looks at you as if he can’t believe his eyes. Like a boy looking into a shop window full of the toy he wants most in the world, but can’t have.’
I shake my head. ‘I’m starting to feel like a Japanese tourist here. Give me a map please.’
She smiles. ‘With all the others he was doing basically the same thing. Different positions with different bodies to vary the boredom. But what he does with you. This is beyond what he ever dreamed of.’
I blush. ‘Oh, you mean the sex.’
‘I’m sure that is very good but no, not that. How can I explain to you? It’s like you woke him up from a deep sleep.’
I think of the way the gentle stroke on my hair that escaped out of his iron mask last night.
‘You’re the only one he wants, little fish,’ Olga says softly.
After a breakfast ruined with confusing thoughts I step out through the French doors into the garden. There is no one about and it is so quiet and tranquil I can’t even hear the faint sound of traffic from here. I take a deep lungful of the fresh, cold morning air and it kinda starts to clear the cobwebs in my head. Maybe I should spend a little time alone in nature.
I drift around the side of the house. My destination is the Japanese garden that I saw from Zane’s study window. Leaving the springy grass I step onto a stony path and follow it until it opens out to a secluded stone garden.
I stand by a rock and look at the meticulously exact garden. There is no grass just a rectangular plot full of stones that have been so carefully raked the lines are as straight as a ruler. I guess it is beautiful the way a brand new chrome coffee machine is beautiful. In a cold, modern, flawless and functional way.
Me, I like a garden with flowers, weeds, bees, birds, worms, the occasional frog, a messy dog running through my flower beds, digging things up, barking, and the sound of children playing.
I rub my cold face with my hands.
Still, I guess this is Zane. This is the world he is trying to create inside and outside him. A flawless, exact, cold world where cascading water is represented by carefully placed stones. Something moves in my peripheral vision and I half-turn in that direction. It is in the window of Zane’s study.
Sunlight makes the glass glint so I have to lift my hand to shade my eyes in order to see into it. To my surprise I see him standing there watching me. For a few seconds we simply look at each other. Static starts up on my skin and I feel as if I am drowning in his gaze and all these crazy emotions swirling inside me.
As if pulled by a magnet I start walking towards him.
I reach the window and place my palm on the glass. The glass is freezing. Slowly, like a man in a dream he lifts his hand and places it on the other side of glass facing my hand. I smile at him and a ghost of a smile tugs the corners of his mouth. Behind him, I see the door open and slimy Lenny enters the room and waits by the door. I bring my gaze back to Zane and watch him change right before my eyes.