“Hello, Gary.”
A wide grin broke across his face. It was obvious that he was overjoyed and relieved to see her. “Besides looking wan and thin, you look normal.”
“What did you expect?”
“I don’t know,” he said with chagrin. “Open, oozing lesions, maybe.”
He grasped her by the upper arms and pulled her into a fierce hug. He seemed not to notice that she didn’t melt against him as she usually did.
“You had me worried sick,” he whispered against her neck. “I’m glad to see that you’re all right.”
She was the one to end the embrace. Backing up over the threshold, she invited him inside. He glanced guiltily over his shoulder. “Are you sure it’s okay, since your mother’s not here?”
“It’s okay.” In light of the situation, breaking one of Velta’s ironclad rules was the least of Jade’s worries.
Once she had closed the door, Gary again drew her against him and gazed at her hungrily. “What’s was wrong with you, Jade? You must’ve been real sick. Your mother said you were too sick to come to the telephone.”
“That’s what I told her to tell you.” He looked at her quizzically. “Sit down, Gary.”
Turning her back on him, she moved to a chair and sat down. When she looked up at him, it was apparent that he was at a loss over her lack of response. Jade was having difficulty dealing with it herself. Gary’s tender touch reminded her of others that hadn’t been tender. Although her brain knew that there was a vast difference, her body seemed unable to make the distinction between his caresses and the mauling it had received from her attackers. She should be grateful, she supposed. Without physical desire to contend with, what she had to do would be easier.
He came forward, knelt in front of her chair, and clasped her folded hands tightly between his. “Jade, I don’t get it. What the hell is going on?”
“What don’t you get?”
“Any of it. Why haven’t you been at school? Why haven’t you talked to me?”
“I’ve been sick.”
“Too sick to come to the telephone and say hello?”
She made her voice cool. “There’s something I’ve got to tell you, Gary.”
“Oh, Jesus, no,” he whispered huskily. He lunged forward and buried his face in her lap, clutching handfuls of her quilted robe and twisting it between his fingers. “Do you have a fatal disease? Are you going to die?”
Her heart broke. She couldn’t resist sliding her fingers up through his wavy brown hair. As though it had a life of its own, it twined around her fingers. Tenderly she caressed his scalp. A sob issued from his throat; it was an echo of the one she held back.
Before she submitted to her heartache, she lifted his head. “It’s nothing like that. I’m not going to die.” He touched her face, skimming his fingertips over each feature. “It’s just that…” She made several false starts, then said, “I’ve been emotionally sick.”
He repeated the words as though they belonged to another language. “Over what?”
“I’ve been under too much pressure.”
“From school?” He touched her hair, smoothing a strand away from her face. She resisted the impulse to rest her cheek in his palm. “That will let up now that we’ve got our scholarships. Hey! We haven’t even seen each other since we were notified. Congratulations.”
“To you, too.”
“How are we going to celebrate?” His eyes turned smoky as his hand moved down her chest to her breast. “I know how I’d like to.”
“No!” she cried shrilly as she shrank from his touch. He was so startled that he was easily pushed aside as she left her chair. Her motions were jerky and disjointed, as though she had only recently learned to walk.
“Jade?”
She spun around and confronted him. He was regarding her with perplexity. “Don’t you understand what I’m trying to tell you? I’ve been under pressure about the scholarship, but other things, too. Primarily, us.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Dragging it out was only making it worse, she realized. There wasn’t a way to do this without inflicting wounds on him and herself. “You’re a smart fellow,” she said, deliberately giving her voice an impatient edge. “Can’t you read between the lines? Do I have to spell it out? Can’t you understand what I’m trying to tell you?”