“Seth,” she gasped. “What are you… I’ll hurt you,” she said as she landed with a plop on his thighs.
He laughed. “How I wish you could!” Then he sobered and drew her closer, placing one arm around her back and the other around her waist. “Kathleen, I wish I could feel something in my legs. Even pain. I can’t feel anything from the waist down. It’s dead.” His eyes pierced into hers. “Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
She looked away, momentarily embarrassed, then back at him. It was hard to remain embarrassed with someone as unpretentious and open as Seth. “Yes, I think so,” she murmured.
“Then you know that I’ll never be able to have a baby, a family, though that was one of my fondest desires. And as much as I’d like to in my mind,” he stroked her cheek with fleeting fingers, “I couldn’t impose any physical demands on a woman.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed the tips of her fingers. “Will you marry me, Kathleen?”
It was her turn to stare now. The unexpected proposal had import enough, but what was even more astonishing was that it had come when she had just divulged that she was carrying another man’s child and that she loved that man. Had Seth gone mad?
“Seth, you—”
“I want you for my wife,” he finished simply. “I love you, Kathleen. I have from the moment you walked into my office that first day. I know you don’t love me. You love the father of your baby, and I truly would think less of you if you didn’t. But he isn’t here. I am. I want you. I want your child. Please, Kathleen, come into my life. Such as it is.” He smiled sadly, and only one side of his sculpted mouth lifted at the corner.
“I’m asking a lot, I realize,” he continued after a moment. “I know that a healthy woman like you needs more of a man than I can be.” His voice took on a touching desperation. “But I can give you security, a name for your child, an opulent lifestyle—”
“Seth, please.” She pressed her fingers against his lips to still them. “Your wealth doesn’t matter to me. What you’re offering is too generous even to consider. Your side of the giving far outweighs mine.”
“Let me worry about that,” he said, drawing her against his chest and placing her head on his shoulder. “Live in my house, let me see you every day, work with me, help me realize my vision, imbue me with your lively spirit.”
“Seth,” she whispered against the warm, fragrant skin of his throat. Could she do it? Was this the answer to her dilemma? She had the highest regard for him. Maybe it bordered on love. He was honest, idealistic, trusting and tolerant. What more could one ask of a man?
His physical limitations didn’t even figure into her decision. She had loved once. To Erik, she had given her body, all she had to give, and she was certain that she could never love any man with that single-minded passion again. She would never see Erik again. Even if she did, he belonged to someone else. They could never have a life together.
She still loved him. No longer did she try to deny that indelible fact. She loved him. A life with Seth wouldn’t be as blissful, as electric. She wouldn’t get breathless each time she anticipated seeing him and, upon sight, have even the highest anticipation dimmed by the reality. She would never know again that transcendence of body, soul and mind, that oneness with another being that could only happen through loving.
But her life with Seth would be a good one. He would cherish her and her child. It would be quiet and peaceful. They would work side by side, each doing something they loved. She would know kindness and… honesty.
“You don’t have to give me an answer today, but I’d be elated if you’d say yes right now,” Seth said.
She sat up and placed her hands on the lapels of his coat. “Do you know what you’re bargaining for?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’ll marry you, Seth. Happily and without hesitation.”
He kissed her softly on the lips. It was a kiss empty of passion, but tender. It sealed the covenant. When he pulled away, he said, “We’re of different… tribes, so to speak. Does it bother you that I’m Jewish?”
“Not if it doesn’t bother you that I’m Christian.”
He laughed. “All I ask is that if the baby’s a boy, we have him circumcised on the eighth day of his life according to our tradition.”
“Of course. And may he celebrate Christmas and Easter until he’s old enough to decide religions for himself?”
“Certainly.” His eyes wandered leisurely over her face, adoring each feature. Finally, he said gruffly, “I love you, Kathleen.”
She banished the picture in her mind of azure eyes that sparkled like water, hair that shone golden in the sunlight, a mustache that framed flashing white teeth, and tried to focus her attention on the dark, loving face close to hers. “I know you do, Seth, I know.”
* * *
“Surely you’re joking.” Hazel Kirchoff was seated in her beautifully, tastefully, expensively decorated living room on the peach silk cushions of her half-circle couch. Her hands were folded gracefully in her lap, her ankles crossed with exemplary deportment, her posture straight, as had been taught her in the private school she had attended as a young girl.
“No, I’m not. Kathleen and I are getting married this Sunday afternoon in Judge Walter’s chambers. He owes us a favor. Remember? We ordered that mink stole for Mrs.—”
“Seth, I’m well aware of the favor we did for the judge,” she snapped. “Would you kindly tell me what you can possibly be thinking when you say that you’re marrying that little… Ms. Haley.”
Seth grinned as he wheeled over to the antique rosewood sideboard and poured himself another scotch. “Surprised? I am, too.”
“The only thing that surprises me is t