“Yeah.” He clears his throat. “She’ll be fine. I’m not worried about it.”
“It’s okay to worry about it, you know.”
“I know. But I’m not. There’s no sense in it.”
The can lays in the palm of his hand. He moves it so the light reflects against the metal lid and shines a light in the air.
My heart sinks for him, and I just want to ease his burdens, if only for a minute.
“Thanks for a fun day.” The slices along my forearms from the rose bushes are bright red from the irritation of the dishwater at Nana’s. I hold them up for Machlan’s viewing pleasure. “It’s been a blast.”
Machlan tosses the can in the cupholder. “You look like you’ve been in a fight.”
“The question is: do I look like I won?”
He laughs. “You look like you took a hell of a beating, but there’s hope the other guy looks worse.”
“He does. I chopped that rose bush to pieces.” I laugh too. “Seriously, though. Thanks for a fun day. I really did enjoy it.”
“Me too.” He looks out the windshield again. “It’s kind of weird, huh?”
“What’s kind of weird?”
“Spending a day together.”
His head turns to me first, and then he angles his torso to me. He stares at me for a long while, biting his bottom lip. This typically has me squirming in my seat because I don’t know what he’s going to say. But, today, I don’t squirm at all. Not a bit.
“I think,” I say, “it’s more that we spent a day together being normal that feels so different.”
“I didn’t think we had it in us.”
“There’s a joke to be made there, but I’m gonna let it go.”
He grins as I pop open the door.
The evening sun streams in the truck. Machlan looks so handsome sitting in the driver’s seat, the button-up he put on before we went to Nana’s rolled up to his elbows. He looks as calm and relaxed as the day has been, and if I don’t climb out of the truck now, I won’t.
“I better get going,” I say.
His brows pull together. “You have plans?”
“Emily might come by.” The heat in my throat causes it to tighten as I toy with my next sentence. I might as well bring it up—sort of test the waters—because it’s going to happen whether I want it to or not. “Because, you know, I head back to Vigo soon.”
Machlan shifts. I feel his energy move, but I can’t look at him. I just look out the window at my car sitting at the base of the steps.
I’m going to have to get in my car soon and leave again. This time, the idea is to have some peace about where I stand with Machlan. And now, I struggle with getting out of his truck, knowing I’ll see him tomorrow.
This plan of mine isn’t working. My stomach roils.
As if he can read my mind, he sighs. “When do you leave?”
“I need to be out of here this coming week. I have to get things ready to start my new job, get the things I left at Samuel’s house …” Those words weren’t planned, but I don’t take them back because they’re true. “Just stuff to do, you know?”
My breath holds, a ball of stress sitting smack dab in the middle of my stomach, as I will myself to stop, hoping he’ll ask me to stay. I can’t stay even if he does. A few good days between the two of us doesn’t fix the years of problems we’ve had. I can’t change everything I’ve worked for because of a hopeful heart.
He reaches across the console and touches my leg with the tips of his fingers. A chill ripples down my spine as I watch his strong, tanned hands contact my bare skin.
If I don’t leave now, I won’t.
“I gotta go,” I say. I give him a quick kiss on his cheek before sliding out of the truck. Reaching to the floorboard, I grab my bag. “Have a good night, Mach.”
“Yeah. You too.”
I hoist my bag over my shoulder and make my way to the apartment. I give him a little wave before going inside. It’s only after I lock the doors do I hear the engine fire and tires squeal as Machlan pulls away.
Flipping on a light, I look around the little room. It’s the same as I left it early this morning, but it feels totally different. Bigger. Vacant. Lonely.
Before I even put my bag down, I fish my phone out of my pocket and dial my brother.
“Hey,” Cross says. “What’s up?”
“Hey. I was wondering what you’re doing tonight?”
“Well, Kallie and I are in Merom having dinner. There’s a kid who takes boxing lessons from me in a play over here. We’re gonna see that in a few. Why?”
My bag hits the floor. “No reason. I was just gonna come by.”