ELODIE
I wrapped my palm around my wrist, trying to keep the feel of Asher’s long fingers on me for longer, but it was no use. The moment he’d allowed me to pull my arm from his grip, the feeling had evaporated. His palm had felt like a brand on my skin, but there was nothing there. No sign he’d touched me. No mark from where he’d gripped me. Nothing. It was almost as if I’d imagined it. But I hadn’t. He touched me. He’d stopped me as I was walking toward Knox’s car. He’d wanted me to stay, right? There was no other reason why he would have touched me.
“Who was that guy?” Knox asked over the loud music. I moved to lower the volume, but he slapped my hand away.
“Ow!” I held my hand to my chest, gritting my teeth f
rom the stinging pain. “What the hell, Knox?”
He spun the steering wheel to the right and slammed his brakes on, causing the two guys in the back to be shoved forward and bang into the back of our seats. They both groaned but didn’t say anything else as Knox turned his head slowly to face me. His nostrils flared, his lips in a straight line, and my entire body shivered. “Did I say you could touch my shit?”
I swallowed, my nerve leaving me. I rarely talked back to Knox, because when I did—His hand whipped out, grabbing the bun my hair was pulled into and yanking me toward him. I called out, hoping the guys in the back would intervene as he pulled me half over the center console, but neither of them said anything. They looked away, acting as if nothing was happening right in front of their faces. I shouldn’t have expected any less. I’d never met them before, so they must have been trying to get into his good graces, not that his followers from school would have stopped him either. No one ever stopped Knox from doing anything.
“Knox, please,” I begged, gripping his arm in an attempt to lessen the pull he had on my scalp.
“Who was he?” he asked a second time. “Who the fuck thought it was okay to put his hand on my girl? Huh?”
“Please,” I whispered, trying desperately not to let the tears slip from my eyes. If he saw them, he’d know he got to me, and the last thing I wanted was to show him any weakness.
“Tell me who the fuck he was, El.” His grip tightened, and I stared up at his face. He almost looked bored, but I could see the swirling in his dark eyes. The threat was clear, and I had to diffuse the situation.
I’d been on a high from placing first in the competition, but as I’d heard the other girls at the event talk about their crazy competition schedule, I’d realized two competitions this season wouldn’t be enough. Some girls were doing as many as twelve, and here I was thinking I’d get noticed from two. I’d been a fool. I’d thought I could do it all on my own. But reality had slammed into me and nearly knocked me down.
And now this. I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t keep fighting against a system I was sure to lose. I didn’t have the energy. I didn’t have the guts.
“It was Aleste’s friend,” I finally managed to get out. It wasn’t really a lie. She’d obviously spoken to Asher before.
“Why the fuck did he touch you, then?”
“I…” I paused, groaning as he yanked my head again. “I don’t know, Knox! I don’t know.”
His breath fanned over my face as he moved his lips to my ear and then whispered, “Nobody touches what is mine. Got it?”
I nodded, not willing to let words come out of my mouth. I wasn’t his. I’d never truly be his. He just thought I was. And for now, I’d let him carry on thinking it, but as soon as school was over, I was done. I was done letting everyone dictate to me. Done letting people control how I felt. Done. I was done.
But right then I couldn’t be. I had to carry on. I had to put up with it. Because the idea of walking away before school was over terrified me. So, for now, I’d take it. I’d take it knowing it would all be over soon. I hoped.
He let go, pushing me back toward my seat, and my muscles screamed in pain. I’d used them so much this weekend with the amount I practiced before I went out on to the stage, and now this. He hadn’t even asked me how the competition had gone, not that I’d expected him to ask. I was surprised he’d messaged me telling me he was picking me up because I hadn’t even told him I was back. But then again, he always knew where I was. Always.
I righted myself in the seat and gripped my wrist harder, trying to imagine I was back with Asher and Aleste, and not in a car full of guys who didn’t think twice about hurting someone for no reason. In my head, I was anywhere but here. In my head, I was somewhere where I smiled and meant it. Where I laughed and felt it. Where I was safe. Somewhere where I was safe.
Knox continued to drive for another ten minutes, but even when he pulled up in front of a mansion in a gated community, my legs still felt shaky and my hands sweaty. I had no idea where we were, but more than that, I had no idea how Knox would act once we got out of the car.
He turned the engine off, pushed out of the driver’s side, and sauntered around to the passenger door and opened it for me. His smiling face appeared as he held his hand out for me. Gone was angry Knox, and in his place was nice Knox. They both took things from me I wasn’t willing to give.
Leave. Just leave. Get away from him, and don’t look back. Escape while you can, my brain was screaming at me, begging me to go, but I couldn’t get my body to adhere to the commands. I couldn’t control my movements as I placed my hand on Knox’s and walked into the mansion with him. The place was packed with people, and as we walked through the foyer and the living room, I even spotted a DJ in the corner. A real DJ. The kind they had in clubs.
Several people greeted Knox, and I didn’t recognize a single one of them. I didn’t even know where we were, and I felt like slapping myself for being so goddamn oblivious. I wasn’t sure what it was about being around Knox, but I lost all sense of self-worth. I forgot who I was. Forgot who I’d become. I’d revert right back to being that little girl who he made feel special and overlooked everything else.
“Here,” Knox said, placing a drink in my hand.
“Thanks,” I replied, already knowing I wouldn’t drink it, but there was no way I’d tell him that.
The kitchen was full of people talking and drinking out of Solo cups, so I pushed myself into a corner, not wanting to be the center of anyone’s attention. I was here because Knox had brought me, but it didn’t mean I wanted to be here. Aleste and I had gotten back early, and I could have easily picked up a shift at work. The money would have been nice, but my muscles denied me. They screamed at the amount they’d been used, and standing was making my legs ache. But what was I supposed to do? It wasn’t like I could go home and rest because I had no idea what was waiting for me back there.
So instead of doing anything, I people-watched. I blinked as the sun went down and the darkness descended, and the party seemed to turn up several notches as the stars blinked high in the sky. At some point I’d lost sight of Knox, and when I couldn’t hold going to the bathroom for another second, I decided to move out of my little corner and find one.
More people had arrived, and the mansion was packed to the brim, so it took me entirely too long to get to the stairs. Then it was a mission to find a door which led to a bathroom, and finally, I found it. Once I’d finished doing my business, I tipped my full drink down the sink, and left the room, intent on finding Knox and telling him I wanted to leave. I was sure he wouldn’t be happy about it, but it was nearly midnight, and we both had school tomorrow.