One night. I was going to give myself one night where I forgot who I was and what I was going through, and just live for right now.
The house was full of people dancing, drinking, doing drugs, and for the first time in a long time, I sensed their own sadness. They were all trying to chase their own demons away, but I wasn’t sure they were being successful. Drink and drugs only ebbed the pain for a short amount of time. When you sobered up, it would still be there, chipping away at you like nothing else ever had.
I ambled through the crowd and into the kitchen, noticing Hut and Brody were both absent. I shouldn’t have felt a pang in my heart at Brody not being here, but I did. Stupid feelings.
“Hey, Lola.”
I spun around, coming face-to-face with a smiling Ford. “Hey.”
“You joining the party?” He raised a brow.
I shrugged, not really sure what I was going to do. I craved to silence everything running through my head, but the swirling in my stomach was stopping me. “Just for one,” I said, reaching for one of the beer bottles on the counter behind me. The glass was cool to the touch as I wrapped my hand around it. I twisted the cap, the sizzle of the beer breaking free, and then took a swig. I’d never liked the taste of beer. It was a means to an end, but this tasted even worse than I remembered.
“Your face says it all,” Ford said, chuckling as I screwed up my nose.
“It tastes like...I don’t even know.” I placed the bottle on the counter, regretting having opened it. I should have gone right up to my room like I usually did, but the thought of sitting on my own, yet again, wasn’t appealing.
“Come on,” Ford said, moving over to the refrigerator. He pulled it open and reached inside, revealing a can of soda. “We’re playing poker. Come and join us.” He handed the can to me, and I smiled.
“You know what?” I glanced at the people milling around the kitchen, spotting Quinn at the table shuffling cards in his hands. “I think I will.”
I followed Ford to the table and sat at the empty seat, telling myself I was only doing this because, in three days’ time, I’d never see these guys again—hopefully.
Quinn shuffled the cards and handed them out silently, his gaze focusing on anything but me. I got it—I hadn’t been the most welcoming, but they had to understand I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Hut had warned me plenty of times, but my broken heart trumped his warnings tonight, so I picked up the cards and played the worst hand of poker I’d ever played.
It didn’t matter though because I wasn’t thinking of the million things that were running through my mind on the daily. I wasn’t worrying about how I was going to get my things from here to my new apartment without Hut finding out. I wasn’t fretting about Brody still being around, and I wasn’t wondering why I felt tired down to my bones constantly, or the fact that I hadn’t been able to keep much food down since I found out about Brody. All I thought about were the cards in my hands, and the fake chips in the middle of the table.
And right now, it was exactly what I needed.
The party slowed down after a couple of hours and then picked right back up somewhere around 2 a.m., and still, Hut and Brody hadn’t come home. But I didn’t care. I was winning at poker and laughing my ass off as Ford grumbled over a woman beating him.
“You’re cheating,” Ford accused, his brows pulling down into a frown. “You’ve got to be.”
I shrugged. “Maybe I’m just that good.”
“Nope. You lost your first hand, and now you won’t stop winning.” He leaned back in his seat and looked under the table. “I bet you’re hiding cards under there.”
I laughed, so loud and carefree that, if I really thought about it, I’d be shocked. “Yeah, because I carry extra cards with me on the off chance that I’ll play poker somewhere.”
“Aha!” He pointed at me, his face screaming victory. “You just admitted it.”
I rolled my eyes. “I was being sarcastic, Ford.” I placed my cards on the table facedown and stretched my arms above my head. “You’re such a sore loser.”
“No, you’re a cheat—” His ringing cell cut him off, and I glanced over at it, seeing Hut’s name flashing on the screen. He picked it up, his shoulders pulling back as he did. “Ford....yeah, okay. We’ll see you there.” His eyes glazed over as he stared at Quinn. “We gotta shut the party down. The new meet is on.” Quinn stood, already shouting that the party was over as Ford picked up the cards and tied a band around them to keep them together.
“Next time, I’m gonna beat your ass at poker,” Ford warned me, a slight grin on his face.
* * *
BRODY
I’d always been good at compartmentalizing. I had the ability to push things to the back of my mind and concentrate on whatever task I’d been given, no matter what.
But it was different now.
I couldn’t stop thinking about Lola’s face. I couldn’t stop hearing her words ringing around in my head like constant church bells.
I should have been in the here and now as I drove Hut from Carson’s to a new meeting point, but I wasn’t. I was in my own head, and I had to get out of it quick. This was a potentially dangerous situation, not only that, but it could mean the end of the case. If the buyer wanted his product tonight, we could take Hut down without a second thought.