She twisted in her seat and opened the center console while I concentrated back on the road ahead of us. The six-hour drive to the lake house would take us past where Belle grew up and where I lived, but I had no intention of stopping. Brody was expecting us there by a specific time, and protocol always came first.
I glanced at the rearview mirror, and Lottie’s gaze met mine. She lay on the back seat, her harness attached to a special dog belt. The first time I’d met her, I knew I couldn’t let her be put down. This dog had been trained, but more than that, she had instincts. I could see that in the way she watched a room and the way she was aware of everything going on. But the most important thing was, Belle loved her.
“Oh my god!” Belle shouted, her voice so high-pitched it caused me to move the steering wheel to the left. I pulled back to the right and straightened the car, looking back and forth between the road and Belle.
“What?” I asked, not able to tell what she was looking at. “What’s the matter?”
“Oh my god,” Belle repeated, but this time, her voice was lower, and…was she laughing? “This can’t be real.”
“What? What do you have?” I gripped the steering wheel tighter, trying to remember what was in my center console. I didn’t keep anything in there that could be used against me, but—
“Montgomery? Your first name is Montgomery?”
Ah fuck. “Belle,” I warned, my voice low. “Pu
t that back.”
She laughed, the kind of laugh I wanted to listen to over and over again. “Nu-uh, Montgomery. Not until you tell me if this is your first name.”
“Belle…”
“Is it?” She paused. “Why did I never think about your first name? Of course you have a first name. Oh my god, I slept with someone and didn’t even know their name.”
“Belle Easton,” I ground out. “Put it back.”
“Why Montgomery, though?” she asked, completely ignoring me. “Why would your mom name you that? I mean, isn’t that a name for like, rich kids?”
I shook my head and ground my teeth together. I’d managed to go so many years without people knowing my first name. In fact, I wasn’t even sure Lola knew what my name was. I’d always just gone by Ford. Ever since Mom had died, that had been my name. She was the only one who called me Montgomery, so to hear—
“Ford? You okay?”
“Only my mom called me that,” I told her, my voice breaking. I shouldn’t have been talking about this, not when I was three hours into a six-hour car ride. I saw a sign for a service station coming up, and decided we’d stop, even if it was only to let Lottie have a bathroom break.
“Sorry,” Belle whispered as I pulled into a parking space. She placed my ID back into the center console, her movements slow. “I shouldn’t have pried—”
“No.” I turned the engine off and then grasped her chin with my thumb and finger. “I should be able to talk about this stuff.” I wasn’t used to opening up, especially about my past. There wasn’t a thing I could do to change it, so what was the point? But as I stared into Belle’s dark-blue eyes, I knew if there was someone I would talk to about it, it would be her. “Mom always said she was better than the place she lived.” I chuckled as I heard her voice in my head. “She said we were surrounded by white trash, but that we’d get out of there as soon as we could.”
I could see our small house clearly in my mind. It was the only one on our block which wasn’t covered in trash or falling down. Mom didn’t just say she was better than everyone else around her, she acted it. She was all I’d ever known, her and her sister, but her sister was the polar opposite to her. Where my mom was refined, my auntie was the white trash Mom hated.
“She passed away when I was fifteen.”
“Oh, Ford. I’m so—”
“Don’t say you’re sorry,” I gritted out. “You don’t have to be sorry. It is what it is. Made me who I am today.” I stared into Belle’s eyes, trying to convey as much as I could silently. “I’ve done bad things in my life, Baby Belle, I never denied that. But you need to know that just because I have a badge, doesn’t mean I’m innocent.” I was going to a dark place, one I never wanted Belle to witness, but she was smack bang in the middle of it, so there was no use trying to hide it. “I’ve killed people, I’ve tortured them—for my job and before that.” I paused, letting her soak that in. “But I’d never hurt you, Belle. Never.”
She was silent for so long, I wondered if I’d done the right thing by telling her that. I hadn’t meant to. I had no intention of speaking about even a second of my past, but I couldn’t help it. I hadn’t ever felt as comfortable as I did when I was around Belle, and although I knew people wouldn’t like us doing what we were doing, I couldn’t fathom the thought of not touching her in the way I craved. She was tying me up in knots, but I didn’t want any of them to be undone.
“I know you wouldn’t.” She placed her hand on the side of my face, and I closed my eyes at her touch. “Montgomery.”
My eyes flung open, but the smile on my face couldn’t be denied. “You’re not gonna stop calling me that, are you?” When she shook her head, I moved closer to her. “Only when we’re alone,” I told her. “Never in front of anyone else.”
She bit down on her bottom lip and nodded. “It’s a deal.” She let out a breath, and I felt it against my lips. “Now, are you going to kiss me? Or are you going to make me wait?”
I raised a brow and stared her down. “I’m gonna make you wait.” I pulled away and pushed open my door, letting Lottie out.
“What?” Belle shouted, but she didn’t make to move out of the car as Lottie took care of her business. “That’s not fair!”
I dipped my head down to look back in at her. “Neither is being named Montgomery, but we have to play the cards we’re dealt.”