I try to clear the emotion that’s collected throughout the day out of my throat. I’ve tried to act normal, but what is normal when you’re spending the day with your ex and his kids that he had with your best friend from college?
“Yeah, I’ll be down in a minute. I’m going to put my wet things in the laundry basket.” I trudge up the stairs and shut myself in my room, the bag over my shoulder dropping to the floor as I slide down my wall.
I hang my head in my hands, finally letting the emotion overwhelm me. I’ve always been so in tune with mine and others’ emotions that I seem to feel deeper than most.
I crawl across the floor to my old desk that I used to study at and open the bottom drawer, pulling out a framed photograph from my college days. I stand and move over to sit on the end of my bed, looking down at the smiling faces of our “gang.”
Tristan and Nathan have me in their arms like a baby and I have an arm around Natalia’s neck who is crouched down, her face pressed against mine with her dark blue eyes sparkling into the camera.
My chest seizes and I struggle to take my next breath—she’s gone. She’s really gone and I never kept in contact with her. But if I had, would I have ever been able to forgive her for marrying Tristan? Did he leave me for her? Had he always wanted her over me?
I’m trying not to feel bitter toward either of them but it’s hard; it’s hard when we were such good friends—best friends. She knew how much I loved him, how we were the other half of each other, or at least that’s how I felt.
“Say cheese,” a random passerby that we grabbed to take our photo says.
“Pickles!” Nate shouts, making us all laugh.
The guy looks at the photo, smiling. “That’s a good one, guys.”
Nate and Tris put me down before running over to the guy for the camera. “Thanks, man. Have a great day.”
The guy salutes us before walking off down the sidewalk next to the field we’re on.
I flop down beside Natalia on the grass, leaning back on my hands as I watch the guys walk over to join us, admiring Tris’s muscular thighs in his cargo shorts.
“Let me see,” Natalia says excitedly, holding her hand out to Nate for the camera. He hands it to her and she presses a button and laughs. “This is a really good one.” She sighs as she hands it over to me and I smile down at the photo of us all having fun. “I’m gonna miss this.”
“Miss what?” Tris asks, slotting in behind me so I can rest my head back on his chest.
“This,” she says, pointing to each of us with a sad face. “We finish college in a month, well, you, Nate, and I do.” She smiles apologetically at me; she knows how much I’m going to miss them being around all of the time: it’s going to feel like I’ve lost a limb. “No more messing around, no more ditching class… Nate.”
“Hey! I object!” he shouts in his no-nonsense lawyer tone, tackling her to the ground and making her squeal.
“Nate! Get off me, you big buffoon!” Natalia squeals, making Tris’s chest rise and fall rapidly as he chuckles at their antics.
She gets up off the ground and runs away from him, her long blond hair flowing behind her in the wind. Nate chases after her, his long brown hippie hair—as I call it—flowing behind him like hers. They’re incorrigible. As cousins, they always find some way to wind each other up.
My eyes flutter shut as Tris’s thumb starts rubbing gentle circles over the top of my thigh, eliciting the heat to start building deep in my stomach.
A large huff causes me to open my eyes and I watch Natalia staring down at the grass stains on her new summer dress. “Thanks a lot, dweeb.”
Nate sticks out his tongue and Natalia laughs, rolling her eyes as she catches my gaze. “So, what are you two doing when Tristan leaves college?”
I feel Tris tense behind me and I sit up, turning my head to look at him. “I… I assume Tris will go and work for his dad and I’ll finish up my last three years of college until I can open up my own studio.”
Tris nods, leaning closer and kissing me on the sensitive skin below my ear. We’ve not talked about what we’re going to do yet, but I’m glad that he has no objections to the thoughts swirling around in my head.
Natalia claps her hands, a big grin on her face as she says, “Oh, you guys are too cute.” She pauses before saying, “But get a room.” I laugh at her. “No, seriously, go!”
Her dark blue eyes have a sparkle to them so I know she’s only joking, but there’s nothing more that I’d like to do than go back to Tris’s dorm room right now.
He must have the same idea as me because he stands, pulling me with him by my hands.
“I’ll message you later,” I tell Natalia, smiling as she stands and pulls me in for a hug.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
I chuckle, giving Nate a high-five before turning and entwining my fingers with Tris’s.