I can see the worried look in her eyes and it has me on edge. I never should have left him here today, I should have taken him somewhere else and tried to talk him through his nightmare.
I pull back from Izzie, kneeling down and swiping the tears from her face with my thumbs as I set her down on the wooden floor. “Why don’t you go and paint me a pretty picture for my office?”
She hiccups and nods her head, putting on a brave face. “Okay, Daddy.”
“I love you, pumpkin,” I whisper, pulling her back toward me for one last hug.
“Love you,” she replies before she pulls back and looks up at Tilly.
“I’ll help,” Tilly tells her, smiling as she holds her hand out for her to take.
I take a deep breath as I watch them walk away, preparing for what I’m about to walk into before I make my way toward the stairs, hearing voices as I climb them.
“I just want my mommy back.” I hear as I get to the stop of the stairs. The heartbroken words floor me and I stumble to a stop, resting my hand against the wall beside me and shaking my head in denial at what I heard.
His words seem to echo around Harmony’s private studio; taunting me.
My chest heaves as I try to catch my breath and my eyes zone in on where Harmony and Clay are sitting, Clay being held by Harmony with his arms wrapped around his middle.
I fall against the wall I was holding onto and make a noise in the back of my throat, causing Harmony’s head to snap up and meet my gaze. Staring into her eyes, I can see how much she’s hurting for Clay and how much she wants to take his pain away; that’s all I want to do too.
“Daddy?” Clay’s voice snaps me out of the daze that I’m in and I barrel forward, taking him out of Harmony’s embrace and holding him close to my chest as I sink down onto the floor.
“Shhhh,” I whisper as the sobs rack his small body, rocking him to try and soothe him. “Daddy’s here. It’s okay.”
The sounds of his cries echo around the room and I have to squeeze my eyes shut to stop my own tears from breaking free. A lump forms in my throat and I lose the battle of controlling myself as a silent tear tracks down my face and over the stubble covering my jaw.
It kills me to see and hear him like this. It’s a parent’s worst nightmare to have a sobbing child in your arms and not be able to make it right; to give them the one thing that they want more than anything else in the world. I can’t bring Natalia back, he’ll never see his mother again, and that thought has a sob catching in my own throat.
“I’m so sorry,” Harmony whispers. “It’s all my fault.”
I shake my head as I open my eyes, trying to pull myself together enough to speak as I see her pale face and sad eyes staring at us.
“It’s not.” I shake my head, my voice sounding nothing like my own.
“No… really—” She cuts herself off as Clay looks up at her and then at me.
“I want to go home,” he whispers, his voice hoarse from all the crying.
“Okay, son. Let’s get you home.”
I stand up and he wraps his arms around my neck, not letting go as he buries his face into my shoulder which only makes me hold him tighter. I’m afraid that if I let go it’ll cause us both to fall apart.
“I…” I don’t know what to say.
“I can bring Izzie home,” Harmony says, biting her lip. “Only if you want.”
“Are you sure?” I ask, unsure whether to leave Izzie here on her own.
“Of course, I’m sure that she’d love to spend a couple of hours at the studio. Message me your address when you’re ready and I’ll bring her home.” I hesitate, hating that I’m relying on her to bring Izzie home. It’s not her job, she shouldn’t have to do that. “Tris.” She lays her hand on my arm, obviously being able to see that I?
?m torn. As soon as her skin touches mine, something fizzles in the air between us but we both ignore it, focusing on Clay. “Honestly, you go and spend some time with Clayton, I’ve got Izzie.”
“I…” I look down at Clay. “Okay, thank you.”
“You’re more than welcome.” She smiles, but it’s not her usual smile, it’s a sad smile that clearly has pain lingering behind it.
I turn around and walk down the stairs, seeing Izzie sitting at a table, painting. She starts to run toward me but slows down as Harmony intercepts her and whispers something in her ear that makes her face break out into a big grin.