Chapter One
“What pajamas do you want to wear Eli?” I asked, waiting for his answer as I bend down and opened the drawer.
“Spider-man, please mama,” he replied in a small voice. I pulled out the red spider-man pajamas, turned and sat on the bed. It creaked as I sat down, a reminder that it wouldn’t be long before it needed to be replaced.
The whole room was a mismatch of furniture. Even though I had done all that I could with what little I was given, it didn’t look to bad. The walls were painted in a variety of different blues and spider-man stickers covered most of the paint and all the cracks that ran along the walls. Eli didn’t care what it looked like, as long as it had his favorite superhero up there. But I wanted to make it perfect for him.
I held the pajamas up and I flicked my wrist for Eli to move forward. His eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms.
“Not those ones, mama, the blue ones,” he huffed.
I knew the look on his face, it could go one of two ways. I’d either be able to diffuse whatever situation was about to arise or he would have a meltdown. Everybody talks about the terrible twos but no one ever tells you about the frustrating fours. I’d learned to pick and choose my battles. When I won one of them I always gave myself a mental high five.
“You said spider-man, Eli.” I held them up in the air “And these are spider-man.”
Drops of water hit me in the face as he shook his head fiercely.
“I only wear the blue ones on Wednesday, and today is Wednesday, mama.” He rolled his eyes and puffed out a breath.
I opened my mouth and closed it. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him that it was actually Friday and not Wednesday. Instead I swapped the pajamas. He got dressed without any other complaints, sometimes it was just better to give in.
Like I said, I pick my battles.
“Time for bed, sweetie.” I pulled back his covers and helped him up onto the bed.
“But I not tired, mama.” I raised my brow and tilted my head to the side. He always did this, said that he wasn’t tired, then he would be snoring his head off two seconds later.
“What book do you want tonight?” I asked.
“Hmm?” his little pointer finger tapped on his chin, head tilted back as he looked up at the ceiling. “Can we wead two?” I settled down next to him and nodded.
“The dog one first,” He shuffled down the bed, pulled the covers up to his chin and looked up at me. “Then the wolf one.”
I pulled them both down from the shelf next to his bed. He watched me with those emerald green eyes. He had such stunning eyes, so bright that I swear they were otherworldly.
An exact replica of his fathers, the only difference between them was the way they looked at me. Eli looked at me with love, I always knew where I stood with Eli. He showed all of his emotions through his eyes, his father was a different story. I never knew what he was thinking.
They could see right through me. I hadn’t quite worked out yet whether that was a good thing or not.
I wore my emotions on my sleeve, I was getting better at putting my walls up.
I had to.
I planted a kiss on the top of his head, his curly brown hair soft against my face.
Eli may have had his father’s eyes but the rest of him was all me. Sometimes, I wish that he looked more like him and, instead, didn’t have those eyes.
“There was a dog, his name was spot…” I started, I hadn’t even got halfway through when his soft snores sounded in the room. I closed the book and watched him for a minute. How we had made something so perfect was beyond me. I lifted off his bed as quietly as possible and placed the book back where I pulled it from and crossed the room.
I tried my best to miss all the creaky floorboards; I never managed it always hitting one. I froze as one creaked. I stayed still, listened for a minute then lifted my foot slowly. I needed to do something about those floorboards.
I walked down the hallway, the old carpet scratching at the bottom of my feet. My eyes followed the framed photos that lined the walls. All but one w
ere of Eli. The first was the day he was born, and the last taken just a few weeks ago.
I stopped at the end of the hallway, opposite the apartment door was the one and only picture of me and Max.
It was taken at my high school graduation; Max had come back from college for the day. That was the day I found out I was pregnant. We both had huge smiles on our faces; we looked so happy back then. We were staring at each other, Max’s face was so open and I knew that if I looked closely I could see the love that used to shine through his eyes.
I frowned at it and shook my head.