I scroll through the contacts on my cell and just as I’m about to debate calling Charlie the thing vibrates in my hand, scaring the life out of me.
“Hello?” I ask, shaking my head at myself as I wonder why I didn’t even look at who was calling.
“Hey, baby.” Butterflies take flight in my stomach at the sound of his voice and I’m left speechless for a second.
“Hey,” I say on an exhale, my lips spreading into a wide smile as I lean back on the couch.
“I’ve missed your voice.” I hear something squeak in the background and then he says. “How’s things going?”
“Yeah, good.” I shuffle in my seat, my mind still stuck on what I’m going to do. “How’s the job going?” I ask, moving the subject off me and trying to distract myself. I don’t want to tell him what’s happening, I want to be able to sort this out myself.
The conversation is so stilted and I know it’s because I have so many things on my mind but when I try to act normal, I swear I just act weirder.
“Yeah, it’s okay,” he huffs.
Knowing that he can’t talk about it with me, I try to change the subject again.
“So... J has booked a band for Friday.” I smile, thinking about how much of a success it’s going to be. I’ve never seen a band live before and I can’t wait to see them. I really want Jess to come with me but with how she’s acting at the moment, I doubt that she will.
“Yeah?” he asks, his voice taking on a different tone. “You’re going, right?”
“Yeah.” I stand up off the couch and pick up my laptop, opening it up and moving my finger on the mouse pad. “I’ll see what the band’s name is, one second.”
I tap away on the keyboard and bring up the website for the bar and scroll down into the events section.
“DNT,” I say and close my laptop. “They’re meant to be really good.”
Corey stays silent for a few minutes and I pull the cell away from my ear to make sure that the call hasn’t dropped.
“Corey, you still there?”
“Huh?” he says, startled.
“You okay?” I frown, looking down and running my finger along the edge of my laptop.
“Yeah, I just wish I was there with you.”
I nod, wishing that he was here too. I thought I missed him before but talking to him now makes me miss him even more. It’s even worse being able to hear his voice and not see his face.
“I do too.” I take a deep breath. “Do you know when you’ll be home?”
“Couple of weeks?” he asks, obviously not knowing the answer to it himself. “Shit... I’ve got to go, baby.”
“Okay,” I whisper as tears prick the back of my eyes. “Will I speak to you again before you come back?”
“I don’t know,” he huffs and I can just imagine him running his hands down his face in that way that he does when he’s stressed. “I’ll try.”
“Okay...” I keep the cell pressed to my ear, not knowing what to say now. “I’ll speak to you soon?”
“Yeah, baby. I...” My heart speeds up as he stops saying what he is about to and then he says. “Talk soon,” and the line goes dead.
Dropping my chin to my chest, I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
The welcome distraction helped for all of a couple of minutes but now my head is whirling with ideas on how to come up with three thousand dollars.
I stare at my cell with wide eyes as I let the call drop. I nearly let it slip and I didn’t even realize that’s how I felt but now that I think about it, I should have known.
It isn’t just because I’d taken her virginity, I felt like that beforehand, I just never admitted it to myself. I can’t believe I nearly let the L-word slip, I would have regretted saying it for the first time over the phone.