Hi
s front collides with my side, his breath skirting along my neck as he whispers, “You need to start showing me some respect. I won’t stand for your misbehavior.”
I turn to face him, gritting my teeth. His eyes flash with a warning, his fingers biting into my skin before he lets up, but he still doesn’t let go. The noise in the hallway gets louder as more people walk past us, and when someone calls his name, he looks away, giving me the chance to pull my arm out of his grip.
I don’t hesitate to back away from him, and as soon as the crowd swallows me up, I dart toward the main doors. My feet pound down the steps outside, but I don’t stop running until I’m off the school grounds, heaving my breaths as I lean against the wall, slapping my palm down on it and relishing in the sting of pain.
School. Home.
I can’t get away from people wanting to touch me, hurt me, tell me what to do. There’s only one place that’s truly mine, where I can be me. The poppy field.
My stomach dips, my chest becoming lighter as the weight lifts off me.
Time. It’s relative, but right now I wish I could speed it up so I can get out of here sooner.
LUKE
“You know it’s Tuesday today, right?” Mom asks as I sit at the kitchen table, watching her make pasta.
“Uh-huh.” I scroll through my cell, replying to a message from Evan.
“So you know Lily will be here any minute then.”
I lift my head, raising a brow at her. “Okay?” I pause for a beat. “And is there a reason I shouldn’t be here when she is?”
She rolls out the pasta, spinning around to take a knife out of the block before she stares at me. “I just assumed…” She shrugs. “You said you didn’t want to get involved in what’s happening—”
“What you think is happening,” I remind her before blowing out a deep breath. “Look, whether something is happening there or not, it’s not my responsibility. I don’t know this girl from Peter.”
Mom tilts her head, her eyes narrowing. “So you only help people who you know?”
I scrub my hand down my face, fed up with this conversation already. “You’ve only known her for a couple of weeks, and you already think something is going on. You’re letting your imagination run wild.”
“I’ve known her for many years!” Mom shouts, placing the knife on the countertop. “I became good friends with her mom when you left for basic training, and I know he was abusive to her.”
“Who?” I ask.
“Lily’s dad.” She worries her lip. “Before her mom… died, she asked me to look out for Lily, and I didn’t… I failed. I was scared after everything…” She leaves it hanging in the air, but the sadness in her eyes and the way the room drops in temperature tells me she’s right there. Back in her own hell where I was right there next to her.
Standing up, I don’t hesitate before stepping toward her and wrapping my arms around her. “I know, Mom. I know.”
I rock her sideways as she balls my black t-shirt in her fist, her breath catching in her throat. “I just don’t want to see another person go through what I did, not if I can help.” She pulls away a little, and tilts her head up, looking at me. “You get that, right?”
“Yeah, I get it.” I let my head hang back, groaning. “I just won’t insert myself into someone else’s business.” Mom frowns, but before she can say anything, I continue, “This isn’t my fight to get involved with.”
She pulls back, shaking her head as she murmurs something I can’t hear. It doesn’t matter what she says because it won’t make a difference. I have enough shit going on in my own head; I don’t need someone else’s too.
Stepping back, I scrub my hand down my face, rubbing my eyes. I know she sees it; the redness, the way my eyelids are drooping.
“Still can’t sleep?”
I don’t answer her as I head into the living room with a bottle of beer, throwing myself down on the sofa and staring at the wall. I’m not gonna sit and talk about the demons in my own head, the memories that only come back when my eyes close. And this shit with Mom going on about someone who she barely even knows isn’t helping matters.
A knock on the front door reverberates through the house, and after a beat, Mom shouts, “It’s open!”
I don’t look away from the wall as Lily walks inside. I can feel the air change as she gets closer, but I deny it even to myself. I see her standing at the edge of the sofa out of the corner of my eye, and when I look over at her fully, I start searching for bruises.
Shit, am I really entertaining this?