“You’re just saying that.”
“Yes, I am, but I’m not going to tell you otherwise, am I?”
She laughed, but it had a thickness and heaviness that her laugh didn’t usually have. “Thank you. You’ll be fine.”
That was very debatable.
“I will be fine,” I reassured her.
“All right. Um, I need to try to sleep. It’s late and it’s been a really long day.”
“I’m sure it has. If I can do anything for you, let me know. Have you spoken to Ollie yet?” I asked, referring to her boyfriend.
“I have. He’s going to see if he can get some days off work to be here with me.”
“Okay. I’ll let you go. Let me know if you need me.”
“I will. You’re already doing more than enough. I… Oh, God, I don’t even know.”
“Hey, it’s okay. Go and take a bath and rest.”
“Yes. I will. Okay. Thank you, Soph. You’re saving my life right now.”
That might have been an exaggeration.
We said goodbye and I put my phone down on the bed with a deep breath.
I was fucked.
I was so, so fucked.
What was I supposed to do now? I couldn’t pretend to be Camilla until the last moment, nor could I face Lady Devon and tell her I’d originally lied.
I needed some fresh air.
I threw off the towel and pulled on my pyjamas, leaving my hair wrapped in the other towel. I wrapped myself in my dressing gown and went downstairs to the kitchen where I knew half a bottle of wine resided from my dinner at the pub last night.
I’d been an adult and cooked tonight.
I should have ordered a pizza a size too big so I’d have something to comfort-eat right now.
I poured a glass of wine and took it outside. It wasn’t that late. In fact, the sun was only just setting to the right of the cottage and sending a golden hue west across the sky. It was a shame it was a little chilly, but that was what the dressing gown and fancy towel hat was for.
I sat on the swinging bench in the front garden and cradled the glass of wine in my lap. I pulled one leg up so my foot curled around the edge of the seat and used my other leg to slowly rock the bench back and forth as I stared out.
The cottage garden really was beautiful. The spring display of yellow daffodils and precious bluebells and other pinks and purples and whites of flowers I didn’t know the names of was incredible, and the gentle glow of the sunset in the sky wrapped me in a calming blanket I needed.
I… was in so, so much trouble.
I was lying to too many people, and at some point, I was going to have to come clean to one side. I wanted that to be the Devons—it was easier all around if we could wrap up the little issue of my identity as soon as the duchess was back from London and write it off to a miscommunication, but…
Nancy concerned me.
She’d made it quite clear that she wasn’t happy with my accidental deception, and I hadn’t seen her since our original conversation. I had no choice but to speak with her tomorrow regarding this change, but the idea of it gave me hives.
What I needed was someone to talk to about this. I couldn’t call my mum as she’d only give me a lecture about lying, and Cait was all the way in the village.
I didn’t know what the rules of the countryside were, but I imagined that going to the pub in your pyjamas for no reason was frowned upon.