“Let her pass,” Caleb ordered.
Tristan joined Rowan and Caleb at the doorway, smiling brightly. Lily could sense Caleb’s and Tristan’s happiness at seeing her up and about, but she took no comfort in it.
The Outlander warriors stepped out of Lily’s way. She took a few steps toward the carriage, but didn’t enter it.
Lily? What’s the matter with you?
Lily ignored Rowan. “Alaric!” she called. Confused thoughts from Caleb and Tristan ate away at the edges of her anger. It was hard to stay mad at them when their thoughts were laced with so much concern.
Alaric limped out of the war carriage, his face inscrutable. “My Lady of Salem,” he said smoothly.
“Lily,” she replied sharply. “My name is Lily. I’m not the ‘Lady?
?? of anything.”
“What can I do for you, Lily?” Alaric said politely.
“You can tell me what you want from me.” She glared at Rowan. “And he can tell me whether or not you’re lying in mindspeak.”
“I want you to help my people,” Alaric said immediately.
Lily looked at Rowan.
He’s telling the truth.
“And how do you want me to do that?” Lily asked Alaric.
“By going to other worlds to get me the technology my people need to survive if necessary,” he responded. “But I’ll take whatever I can get from you. Clean water, antibiotics, whatever you’ve got.”
Lily didn’t need Rowan to confirm what Alaric just said, but he did anyway.
He’s telling the truth.
And what about you, Rowan? Were you ever going to tell me the truth?
“I’ve never lied to you,” Rowan yelled out loud.
“But you didn’t tell me the whole truth, either. Did you?” Lily yelled back. “You weren’t looking for the shaman so I could find my home. You were looking for him so I could learn how to steal things for you.”
“Don’t you dare tell me what my motives were,” Rowan said warningly.
Like a slap across the face, Lily got a memory from Rowan.
… the meeting with the Outlander elders, right before the camp got raided by Gideon’s men. The elder from Huron says there could be an answer to all the Outlanders’ problems on other worlds and that the girl could get those answers. The elder from Choctaw is so hopeful. He says that the fighting and dying and running from the Woven could end tomorrow if the girl can get the power source they need from the farworlds. The elder from Cherokee, the wiry woman with the mane of gray hair, cuts them all off. She says that first they have to find the shaman and then they have to find a way to get the girl on their side. She looks at me, and I know what she wants me to do. She wants me to seduce Lily. The elder wants me to tell Lily I love her so she’ll follow me anywhere. How I want to. But this girl is an innocent. I can’t. I won’t. I’m scared she’ll break my heart—again.
Rowan’s mind skipped ahead.
… Gideon has just left. Lily is standing there, swamped in my robe, trusting me to protect her. How can I protect her if she can’t give me the strength to do it? Gideon is coming for her. I can either lose her or train her. Everyone wants a piece of her, and I can’t stop them unless I make her a powerful witch—the witch everyone wants me to make of her so they can use her. I don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore, but I know I can’t lose her. How the hell did that happen so fast?
The memory changed again.
… making blueberry pancakes for Lily. She’s sitting on the island behind me, so fresh and lovely it hurts. She has no idea Tristan, Caleb, and I are fighting in mindspeak. Neither understands what my problem is. The way Caleb sees it, Lily would have to learn from the shaman to get back to her home, so what’s the problem with us training her? Tristan adds that if she wants to help us rebels, she will. If not, it’s not like anyone could make her do it so what was the harm? I ask them sarcastically if they also think I should do as the elders want and sleep with Lily to seal the deal. Tristan offers to do it for me, whether it seals the deal or not. I nearly hit him. I take a breath and flip the pancakes. I tell them again that I won’t have any part of it. If the shaman shows up, I’ll stop training Lily. I won’t trick her into fighting this war for us.
The memories ended, and Lily stood, looking into Rowan’s offended eyes.
“But you’re the only person I told about the shaman in the oubliette. That he taught me how to spirit walk,” she said, feeling chastised. “Why did you tell Alaric about that if you didn’t want him to use me?”
Rowan smiled at her, shaking his head. “You told everyone about the shaman when you were delirious.”