“Some. Caleb and Tristan insisted.” Juliet pulled a goose feather out of Lily’s duvet. “He didn’t sleep much. Couldn’t. There was no one else to watch for Woven or help fight them off.” She rolled the feather between her fingers. “He went through hell.”
“Damn it.” Lily let out a gusty sigh. “Did he show you why he left the tribe and followed us?”
He got into a huge fight with Alaric over the bombs. There’s still two Carrick didn’t get around to dismantling. Juliet looked down at the feather. Alaric’s name was stuck on a loop inside her head.
“That must have been hard for you to watch. Just seeing Alaric, I mean.”
“I’ve been thinking. I never should have run away from him,” Juliet whispered. “I should have fought him harder.”
“You left for me. And his choices aren’t your fault.”
Juliet looked up. Her big brown eyes were burning. I know that staying here on the other side of the continent looks a lot more attractive when you think about the bombs, but we can’t. We have to go back and stop him.
Images of the Thirteen Cities flashed through Juliet’s mind. Cities that Lily had never seen. Wondrous places—some built on pontoons floating over water. One was built up among the trees, like an enchanted elfin city. Juliet imagined the trees burning. People screaming. She clutched at Lily’s hand, unable to bear her own thoughts.
Lillian’s cinder world swam to the front of Lily’s mind, and she had to switch out of mindspeak to shield her sister from seeing it. There was no point in hiding what she was about to say from the Hive anyway.
“I know. I don’t know how to stop him from here—but I know.” Lily breathed a bitter laugh. “I dragged you all across the country because I had some crazy idea that the solution to the Woven was out west, like west was some miraculous place. I thought I’d find a way for people and Woven to live together so the Outlanders wouldn’t be trapped and there wouldn’t have to be a war.” Lily wanted to kick herself. “Well, people and Woven can live together. This wasn’t what I had in mind, though.”
“It’s not really living together. It’s more like living under,” Juliet said, shuddering. “And I don’t care if they’re listening.”
Lily shrugged. “We’re already their prisoners.” For now, she added in mindspeak. Lily almost didn’t ask it, but she couldn’t stop herself. “Nothing in Rowan’s memories about me?”
“He did it to save you,” Juliet said.
“Juliet,” Lily said disbelievingly. “He took my willstones and put me in a cage.”
“Alaric believed you had sided with Lillian. He was going to slit your throat where you stood. Rowan did the only thing he could do to keep you alive without having to slaughter his sachem and his whole tribe to protect you from them.”
Lily looked away. She thought of Rowan’s expression when he’d taken her willstones. There was no anger. No resentment. He didn’t take her willstones because he was bitter or hateful. It was a calculated action performed without passion, like he was making a choice that had more to do with other people than with himself. If there was any feeling in him that she could detect, it was regret. What he’d done, he’d done for her, and even then he knew that the cost of saving her life would be her love.
Was she that unforgiving?
“I didn’t really cry that much after it happened. I was too confused to cry because I knew Rowan would never betray me. Despite what it looked like, I knew there had to be more to it,” Lily admitted.
“I can replay his memory for you. He showed us. Do you want to see it?” Juliet asked.
Lily shook her head. “Don’t need to. Don’t want to.” She knew Juliet was telling the truth and that Rowan had probably saved hundreds of lives, including hers, but she still felt the grating edge of resentment inside her. Resentment and something else full of yearning that she couldn’t quite place yet. “The cage isn’t the problem between us anymore.”
“What is?” Juliet prodded gently.
“What’s your father like? The James of this world,” Lily asked in response. “What is he like?”
Juliet smirked. “I barely know him. He wasn’t really interested in us as children, and then Lillian sent him away when he became too interested in what she was doing as an adult. You know, once she was the Salem Witch.”
“My father was never there,” Lily whispered. Her whole chest felt sore. Juliet waited for Lily to continue, but Lily stayed silent.
“Are you ever going to forgive Rowan?” Juliet asked.
“I’m not good at forgiveness.” Lily thought about how she’d refused to forgive Scot. She never really got around to forgiving her father for abandoning her or Tristan for cheating on her, either. And now they were all dead. “I never give anyone a break,” she whispered, repeating Toshi’s words.
“Is that the person you want to be?” Juliet asked gently.
“No. But I haven’t figured out how to be anyone else yet.” Lily shook herself. “Enough of this. Are you up? Like up up?” she asked. Juliet nodded. I feel like snooping around, Lily said, switching back to mindspeak. Want to come?
Juliet grinned. Lily took that as a yes, and the sisters slid out of the room, quiet as moonlight.
They followed their path from earlier in the evening and found their way