“It isn’t old history if it stopped you playing music.”
“I still play. I teach piano. I write some songs. It’s enough for me.” She licked her lips. “How about you, has anybody hurt you?”
“As in girlfriends?” he asked, his voice low.
“Yeah.”
The corner of his mouth quirked up. “Are we having that talk?”
“What talk?” She looked up again. There was so much warmth in his eyes. She loved the way he knew to stop asking her questions about New York. He never pushed further than she could handle.
One day she’s have to tell him, though. She knew that.
“The one where we tell each other all our guilty secrets about our past relationships. I ask you if you’ve ever been in love, and you ask me if I’ve ever cheated. Then we assess whether the other person is good enough for us.”
“Have you ever cheated?” she asked him, suddenly interested.
“Nope. But I’ve done some things I’ve regretted.”
“Like what?”
It was his turn to look cornered. “Stupid things. Had one night stands with women who were looking for more. Drunk too much and woken up to women whose names I didn’t know.”
“Women?” she asked him. “As in more than one.”
He laughed.
“Yeah, there’s been more than one.”
“I meant at the same time.” Her chest tightened at the thought.
“Are you asking me if I’ve ever had a threesome?”
Her breath caught in her throat as she nodded. The difference in experience between them was all too evident. She’d only woken up once to find something she wasn’t expecting. And that had ruined everything.
But it sounded like for Gray it was a way of life.
He pulled her tighter, his eyes meeting hers. And inside them she could see the honesty she was looking for. He was an open book, and she was desperate to turn the pages.
“I told you before that when I first found success I took advantage of it. Too much drinking, too many drugs, and yeah, there were too many women as well. I used them the way I used everything else. To make me feel better. Less alone. I wanted to feel like a star because deep down inside I didn’t feel like I deserved any of it.”
There was a rawness to his words that touched her. “But you did deserve it. You’re so talented.”
His mouth twitched. “It’s okay. Years of therapy mean I don’t need that kind of validation any more.”
“No?”
“Nah uh.”
She traced her finger down the bridge of his nose. “So have you had any longer relationships since then?”
“A couple,” he said, his lips parting as her finger brushed against them. She could feel the heat of his breath against her skin. “Nothing too serious. Both of them were women in the industry.”
“Do I know them?”
He shrugged. “Probably. But they’re history now. How about you? Any suitors I should know about in Hartson’s Creek? Should I be getting ready to fight for you?”
She grinned. “No. The only guy I spend time with is Murphy. And I can guarantee that he’d give me up without a fight.”