Ally let out a sigh, and it was much heavier than she intended.
“He was really worried about you,” Brooke continued. “He asked me what your favorite food was, and whether you were a morning or a night person.” She turned to Ember and smiled. “Did you know he bought her a video game console to keep her busy?”
“Wow. Let’s hope you never have to move out.” Ember wiggled her eyebrows.
Ally leaned forward to try and scratch her leg above where the plaster was covering it. It was constantly itchy.
“He’s really good looking too. For an older guy.” Ember turned to Ally. “Just how old is he, anyway?”
“I don’t know.” Ally’s brow crinkled. “That’s not the sort of thing you ask somebody.”
“He has a sixteen-year-old daughter. He has to be forty, right?” Brooke said. “Not that he looks much over thirty-five. Either way he’s hot.”
“He’s my boss,” Ally pointed out. She wanted this conversation to end now. Everything felt so jumbled up. She couldn’t live in her apartment, she couldn’t run. She couldn’t even work. And now her friends were talking about the one guy she was trying not to think about.
“Doesn’t mean you can’t look.”
“Or touch,” Ember added, grinning.
“Can we change the subject, please?” Ally snapped. Seeing her friend’s shocked expressions she immediately felt bad. “Sorry, I’m just a bit…” she trailed off, trying to find the right word. “Confused.”
“Confused?” Brooke echoed. “What about?”
Ally inhaled deeply, staring ahead at the ocean as it gently lapped against the shore. Her chest tightened at the thought of admitting her feelings out loud. As long as she kept them buried they weren’t real. But out in the open…
They could hurt her like a knife.
“Are you okay?” Ember asked softly. “You’ve got the strangest expression on your face.”
Another deep breath, this one so big it almost hurt her chest. Ember and Brooke were staring at her with pinched brows. They were her best friends. They’d kept each others’ secrets since kindergarten.
She could trust them, she knew that.
“I like him,” Ally said. “I like my boss.” And it was as simple and as complicated as that.
“Ohhhhh.” Brooke dragged the simple word out for a few syllables.
Ember gave her a sympathetic smile. “I could have told you that when we were in the hospital. In fact, I did tell you that if I remember correctly.”
“Telling is one thing,” Brooke said gently. “Realizing it for yourself is a whole other pack of cards.” She turned to look at Ally. “Does he know how you feel?”
“No.” Ally shook her head rapidly. “And I want to keep it that way. It’s just a stupid crush. I’d hate for him to find out.”
“Maybe you should relax and see where this goes. You never know, he might feel the same way as you do.” Ember shrugged.
Ally thought about last night and how he’d traced her cheek with his finger. Had that meant something? She wasn’t sure. All she knew was that he hadn’t done it again and yet she could feel the heat of his touch for hours.
“There’s nowhere good for this thing to go,” she told them. “He’s my boss, and we all know what they say about doing the deed where you eat. It’s asking for trouble.” She gave a little shudder. “But more importantly there’s Riley. She’s so vulnerable right now. She thinks I’m her friend, and what kind of friend goes behind your back and starts something up with your dad?”
“A bad friend?” Brooke suggested. Her voice was low, as though she really didn’t want to say it.
“Exactly.” Ally pressed her lips together, thinking about it. “Remember how I hated Marnie?” she asked them, reminding them of her dad’s ex-girlfriend. “And she hated me, too. It was awful and I could never do that to Riley.”
“You’re nothing like Marnie. She was just… ugh.” Ember shuddered. “And she was way too young to understand what you were going through. Let’s face it, she thought she’d signed up to live happily ever after with your dad, and then…” she trailed off. “You came along.”
“And brought all my baggage with me.” Ally hated thinking about those terrible days after her mom died. She could still remember the pain and the anger. All those arguments between her dad and Marnie when he told his girlfriend that his teenage daughter would be moving in with them. “And I could never do that to anybody else. Especially not Riley. She’s so hurt and lost, but underneath all that she’s a good kid. She deserves all her father’s attention.”
Brooke was holding Ally’s hand and she squeezed it gently. “But you’re not Marnie. Don’t you see? More than anybody you understand what Riley’s going through. You could be good for her, for both of them. If you’d just let yourself go.”