“I thought you didn’t love me. That you didn’t care what happened.”
“I’ve always loved you. And I’ve always cared. But I worry about you, too. Remember when you got your place at college and then refused to go?”
She nodded. “I remember.” How could she forget? They’d paid her first term’s tuition, packed up his car. She’d even bought the bedding for her dorm room. And yet she’d found herself refusing to go, stomping back up to her room, not listening to him as he tried to reason with her through her closed door.
“I felt like such a failure then, too. And looking back it was all my fault you didn’t go. I hadn’t taught you how to be okay by yourself. Hadn’t showed you how to work through things. I’d kept you close and thought I could protect you forever.” He rubbed the palm of his hands over his face, wiping away his tear. “But I couldn’t. Not that way.”
“So you just cut me loose instead?”
“Not on purpose, but I guess that’s what happened. And I don’t blame you for hating me for it. But you’ll never hate me as much as I hate myself, I can promise you that.” His eyes softened. “I should have told you how damn proud I am of you. How amazed I am by your strength. Life keeps knocking you down and you keep climbing back up. I’ve never met anybody as strong as you are.”
This time it was Ally’s eyes that filled with tears. His words were like oil on the troubled water of her soul. She’d missed him so much, and she was angry at him. But more than anything she wanted to believe.
In him. In his words. And mostly in herself. She wanted to be the person he was describing.
“Can you forgive me?” he asked her.
“I think so,” she told him, glancing down at the coffee she hadn’t taken a sip of. “But it might take some time.”
He swallowed. “There’s some
thing else I need to tell you.”
“What?”
“I had another reason to sell the café. I had my annual health check a few months ago, and things aren’t working as well as they once did.” He shook his head. “Now don’t you go worrying over this, but my heart isn’t as good as it used to be. The doctor wants me to slow down. Getting away from all the stress seemed like the right thing to do.” He pressed his lips together. “But now I see how selfish it was, too.”
“What’s wrong with your heart?” Ally asked, her mouth dry. She hadn’t expected him to say that at all.
“Nothing to worry about. It’s just slowed down a bit. Needs some medicine to keep it going the way it should. According to the doctor, I’ve got years left in me as long as I follow his advice. And I’m so sorry, honey, because I was scared to tell you about that, too. I didn’t want to see your reaction, so I ran away.”
Tears stung at her eyes. She took his hand in hers. When had it gotten so wrinkled? She’d spent her whole life idolizing this man, thinking he was invincible. It felt like a kick in the gut to know he wasn’t.
“Okay,” she said, nodding. “Okay. Do you need to relax now? You’ve had a long flight. You shouldn’t have risked your health just to see me.”
“As long as I keep taking the pills I’m going to be fine.”
Thank God. He was her dad, warts and all. He’d been there for her after the divorce, and he’d held her tight when her mom had died. And when he had to choose between her – his unruly teenager daughter – and the woman he was dating. Well, it was Ally he chose to keep.
The way Nate had chosen Riley. And rightfully so.
Some cuts healed. Others became scars you wore with pride. But sometimes they festered. If he hadn’t chosen her, then Ally’s would have festered, too. Until they hurt every time she touched them.
She was a grown woman. Twenty-seven years old. Way past the age that she needed a constant parent. Her dad was fallible, but so was she. And he was right, they kept pulling themselves up anyway, and moved forward no matter how much it hurt.
“How long are you back for?” she asked him.
“For good. I’m not planning on travelling anymore.”
Ally licked her dry lips. “Do you have somewhere to stay tonight?” she asked him. He’d rented his house out when he’d left town.
“I’ll check myself into a motel. I just wanted to check on you first.”
She shook her head. “No need. You can stay here. That’s if you’re okay with sleeping on the couch.”
“Are you sure?” His brows knitted together. “I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”
She stood, grabbing her crutches to steady herself. “Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll grab you some linens and a towel. I bet you could use a shower right about now.” She made her way to her bedroom, and began to pull some sheets and blankets out from her dresser, making a pile of them on her bed ready to take back out to him.