12
SAM
I walked back to the camp in a daydream, hardly noticing the rain or the wind. All I could think about was Ruby.
The camp was deserted, everyone down at the beach on exercises or sheltering inside from the weather. I still had a couple of hours left before I was back on duty so I made for my hut, my head down against the rain, which was heavier now, slanting sideways. I didn’t see someone step out in front of me until it was too late. We collided hard and both of us went sprawling in the mud.
It was Freddie Gardner. Damn. He lay on his back with his white helmet over one eye, spluttering in surprise and anger. I jumped to my feet and reached down to help him up.
‘Chrissake, Archer, look where you’re going!’ he barked, shoving my hand away, his feet slithering in the mud as he scrambled up too. He yanked his helmet back into its correct position, scowling.
‘I’m sorry, sir.’
‘Papers.’
‘But you know who I am, sir.’
‘Show me your goddamn papers, soldier,’ he spat. ‘Now.’
I held them out and he snatched them, smearing them with mud. He scanned them before thrusting them back at me. ‘Where have you been?’
‘For a walk.’
He looked me up and down. Cold mud was seeping through the seat of my pants; Gardner looked like he’d been taking a bath in it. I struggled to keep a straight face – it was more than my life was worth to laugh right now. ‘In this weather?’ he said.
‘Yeah. I mean, yes, sir.’ I tried to keep my tone civil; I wanted to get back to my hut, change my uniform, get warm and go find something to eat.
Gardner narrowed his eyes. ‘You know, Archer, I been watchin’ you. And there’s something about you that don’t sit right with me.’
Oh yeah?I wanted to say. Well, the feeling’s mutual, buddy. But my stomach clenched. Had he figured out I was underage? Nah – there was no way – all my documents said I was twenty, about to turn twenty-one. And he didn’t know me or anyone I knew, although I’d been worried at first that he might. I’d thought he was just guessing about my age.
He shook his head. ‘Don’t think I’ve forgotten the way you and that girl were laughin’ at me at the dance a few weeks ago, ’cause I haven’t.’
My shoulders sagged with relief. Was that all it was?
‘We weren’t laughing at you, Fre— sir,’ I said. ‘We were talking, is all.’
‘You said somethin’ to her. She woulda wanted to dance with me otherwise.’ His chin was jutting out, like he was a kid who’d dropped a bag of candy. I bit back another bark of laughter. Damn, I never thought I’d see Freddie Gardner sulking.
Ruby’d never want to dance with you. She’s got too much class, and besides, she knows what a fucking bully you are, I told him inside my head. ‘Perhaps you can ask her next time, sir,’ I said levelly.
‘Yeah, maybe I will.’ He looked me up and down again in a way I didn’t much care for. ‘Maybe I will,’ he repeated slowly. Then his gaze focused on something behind me. ‘Hey, that yours?’
I looked round and saw my notebook lying in the mud. Shit. It must have fallen out of my pocket when I bumped into Gardner. I snatched it up. ‘Yeah.’
‘What is it?’
‘Just drawings, sir.’
‘Show me.’
Wasn’t there a caricature of Gardner in there? And Ruby’s map… ‘It’s nothing, sir.’
‘Give me that notebook, soldier, right now. Unless you wanna get written up?’
Heart sinking, I handed it to him, and watched as he flicked through the pages. ‘Whew-ee,’ he whistled when he saw the sketches of Ruby I’d done from memory, trying to capture her smile, the way the corners of her eyes crinkled when she laughed, how she moved her hands as she talked like she was weaving the words out of the air. ‘You got it bad for that British girl, ain’t ya? She got it bad for you too, or is this just wishful thinkin’? You know all those girls from town are only after one thing, right?’
I gritted my teeth. He meant the women who hung round the perimeter fence, chatting and checking their reflections in their compacts, the bolder ones calling out to the guys as they came and went. They looked casual, like they were just hanging around with their pals, but you could sense the desperation under their lipstick-rimmed smiles and carefully set hair. Ruby couldn’t have been less like them if she tried.
Thank God, Gardner lost interest after that. He slammed the book closed and tossed it at me. It bounced off my chest and fell into the mud again. I grabbed it, wiping it on my pants.
‘This ain’t the end of it, Soldier,’ Gardner growled. ‘I’m gonna be keepin’ a real close eye on you from now on.’ He stalked away.
‘Goddamn Gardner,’ I said to Jimmy once I was back in my hut, struggling out of my mud-caked uniform as Duke Ellington blasted out of the wireless nearby.
Jimmy glanced round. ‘Careful. That guy’s got ears and eyes everywhere.’
I yanked off my socks, scowling. Who gives a damn? I told myself. As long as he doesn’t find out how old I am, Gardner can do what the hell he likes.
Later – much later, in France, and in the camp – those words would come back to haunt me. But I had no idea what was waiting for us there. None of us did.
I wonder what we’d have done if we did.