Holy shit. I wasn’t imagining all of this.
As I sat in my seat at the rear of the plane, I squinted my eyes to see every movement that Kendall made as she worked the front of the Boeing 737. It was surreal to see her in this role. It was like my worlds were colliding in the strangest way.
Somehow, she hadn’t seen me board. That was a blessing because I needed time to process. She’d been helping an old man stow something away in the overhead when I snuck past her in disbelief.
I debated confronting her right then, but this was neither the time nor place to deal with all we had to talk about. My greatest hope was that she didn’t freak out when she inevitably noticed me.
Getting her fired was also something I really wanted to avoid. I knew the deal. There were plenty of people waiting in the wings for flight attendant positions. A majority who go through the training never even end up getting hired by the airline. Even though I didn’t understand how she came to be here, clearly, it was something she wanted. I wasn’t going to risk taking that away from her.
The confusion swirling around in my head was mind numbing.
Did she have the baby or not?
Flight attendant training was only a couple of months. Technically, she could’ve trained while pregnant then flew up until a certain point when they stopped allowing it. What actually happened to her all of this time was a total mystery.
The flight to Boston would only be an hour. Thank God. There was no way I could have lasted longer being stuck in this spot and unable to get answers.
Beads of sweat were forming on my forehead. My heart was beating so fast that for the first time ever on an aircraft, I actually got a little panicky. I never particularly liked flying unless I was controlling things from the cockpit anyway.
Kendall assumed her position up front for takeoff. Once we were airborne, she would likely be heading down to the galley at some point. There was no way I would be able to hide unnoticed until the end of the flight. The thought of coming face to face with her in front of all these people made me ill.
Working as a pilot had prepared me to deal with dozens of potentially catastrophic scenarios. Despite that, I didn’t feel prepared in the least to face Kendall.
I studied her as best I could from afar. She was wearing a gray pencil skirt and a light blue blouse with three-quarter inch sleeves. There was a darker blue stripe that ran down the middle. Her normally unruly hair was tied neatly into a low bun.
She seemed guarded and mechanical when interacting with the passengers. The smile I remembered that used to light up the room, now seemed fake with a hint of darkness beneath it. Kendall reminded me of myself before I met her. There’s no better profession than flying for people who want to run from their problems.
It scared me to think of what she might be running from at this point.
Did she have the baby and feel guilty over giving it up?
Fuck.
The urgent need to know what happened was making my skin crawl.
Kendall had been talking to one of the passengers when she suddenly began to make her way down the aisle toward the back of the plane.
She spoke to one of the other flight attendants. “I need a bandage for the passenger in 6C. Where do we keep those again?”
“I’ll grab it,” her co-worker said.
She happened to look in my direction while she was waiting for her colleague to fetch the Band-Aid.
Our eyes locked, and there was no turning back.
Looking like she’d seen a ghost, Kendall grabbed the back of one of the seats for balance. We just stared at each other for the longest time. The look on her face gave me the impression that if we weren’t thousands of feet in the air, she would have run away from me, not toward me. Actually, it looked more like she was debating whether to jump.
Even though she was right in front of me, she seemed miles away, far from being ready to face me. Perhaps, she truly thought she would never see me again. I’d often wondered if that would be the case myself.
“We need to talk,” I said in a low voice before silently mouthing, “Later.”
Before she could respond, the other attendant returned. “I’ve got the bandage.”
Kendall didn’t move. She was still looking at me, blinking, flustered.
The woman waved the bandage to garner her attention. “Kendall…”
Breaking her stare, Kendall cleared her throat and took it. “Oh, thank you.”