My mom used to always tell me that sometimes friends are in our lives only for a season and I shouldn’t try to hold on too tightly. When their time passes, they fade away to be replaced by new connections. At the time it made me sad to think of letting go of some of the friendships that got me through college and my first jobs. But over the years, I’ve seen the wisdom in her advice. Ari is probably the only one who’d understand the significance of my upcoming trip.
“A major client is flying us to Vegas next week to meet with him. It’s a big deal. I want this account, Ari.”
“You’ve been talking about wanting to prove your chops to your boss. So this is your chance, right?” Her eyes gleam and she rubs her hands together in anticipation.
She takes up her former spot on the couch and tucks her long legs underneath her. Her honey colored hair is tucked up in a low bun and she’s got no makeup on but somehow still looks perfect. Her mom is a former model from Sweden and her dad is some big shot businessman from Venezuela. Ariana is the perfect blend of them both, glamorously beautiful with the mind of a cutthroat capitalist.
Men never see her coming.
“Absolutely. This is exactly the kind of opportunity I’ve been waiting for. I’m going to show James exactly what I’m capable of and why I’m the perfect person to lead this account.”
“Sounds good. So why don’t you look more excited about this?”
“Because Milo is going, too. Which means I have to be on my A game otherwise he’ll steal this account, too.”
She’s nodding along with every word. “You know what I think? You two need to bone.”
My mouth drops open. But she’s not done.
“Yup. That’s what needs to happen. All this animosity and tension could be solved with some boom boom. A little bit of banging. A little bit of bam-bam in the ham.”
Despite trying not to, I have tears in my eyes from laughing. “Bam-bam in the ham? That’s a new one.”
Ari shrugs prettily. “There’s more where that came from. But seriously, you haven’t been laid in forever. And no offense to Will, but with that giant stick up his ass, there’s no way he was laying the pipe right. Girl, you need to get some.”
I ignore her comment about Will, because let’s face it, she’s totally right. “Milo and I are not boning or doing whatever with ham that you just said.”
“Bam-bam in the ham,” she repeats helpfully.
“What-ever,” I draw my hand across my neck in a cutting motion. “Besides I’m not into casual sex.”
“Don’t knock it ’til you try it,” she drawls. “Sometimes a girl just needs to get the cobwebs out, you know. A bit of spring cleaning. As long as it’s on your terms, then I say go for it.”
“That’s never happening. We hate each other. You know this.”
“Mmm, hmm. Okay, it was just a suggestion.” Her eyes drift back to the TV as her fingers continue to stroke Oreo’s fur leisurely.
I want to just dismiss it as the usual Ariana nonsense but her suggestion has taken root. Can I really pretend that I didn’t wake up the morning after happy hour dripping with sweat after an intense sex dream about Milo?
That doesn’t really count, I rationalize. I was sleeping. I have no control over that.
Besides, what I saw in that bathroom didn’t even look like it could be real, so anyone would be intrigued, right? What red-blooded, heterosexual woman wouldn’t have lustful thoughts after seeing a handsome man with a billy club in his trousers?
But you’re not just anyone. You’re someone who knows Milo and talks to him. It’s not the same thing as having sex dreams about a celebrity or something.
All the internal back and forth is overwhelming. Suddenly it’s like I can’t hold it back anymore. “I saw his dick!”
I clap my hand over my mouth but it’s too late. My tongue has been unleashed and it won’t stop until I let it all out.
Ariana’s mouth drops open. “Mya Taylor. You bitch! You saw his anaconda? When was this and why haven’t you told me?”
“He was in the bathroom with some chick and it was happy hour and what was I supposed to do? So I just pretended that I didn’t see anything. But the whole time I was pissed!”
Ari blinks. “You were pissed.”
It’s almost like she didn’t hear a word I just said. “Of course I was pissed! His dick was in her hand!”
Ari bites her lip. “And… you wanted it in your hand?”