I hear the sound of the stall door being unlocked. “Of course. In fact, on the way back I’ll remind James that he meant to ask Milo about the Adler account. That way he’ll be busy and you can sneak out.”
“You’re saving my life right now.”
“We girls have to stick together. Believe me I’ve been there.”
Five minutes later, the bathroom door opens. I unlock my stall and peer out. Anya hands me my bag with a smile. “They’re in James’s office now. Go. I’ll tell James that you had female problems. He’ll be too traumatized to ask any questions. Trust me. It works every time.”
I thank her again and then rush out. Fate does me a solid because when I check Uber, there’s a car right around the corner. By the time I get downstairs, the car is pulling up.
Right now I just need to be alone so I can think. And grieve. The last few weeks have felt like an awakening of sorts. It was about so much more than just the job. I felt like I found a comfort zone between Mya, the professional and Mya, the woman. Moving on from the baggage of my last relationship, I learned a lot about what I want in a man. Who I want to be. But now I’m left to wonder what it all means.
I’m in love with him. And for him, this has all been a game.
Damn. Maybe I haven't learned as much as I thought.
There are no lights in the windows of our apartment when we pull up. I can’t remember if Ariana was on shift today but I can only hope she’s not there. This is definitely a situation that calls for a bit of a pity cry. Alone. I say goodbye to the Uber driver, promising to give her five stars. I’m turning my key in the front door when a shadow moves to my right.
“What the hell?” I shriek and drop my keys in surprise.
“Whoa! It’s me! Mya, baby it’s me.”
Even though my heart is still in my throat, I calm slightly when I recognize Will’s voice. “Will? What are you doing in my hallway?”
“Just wanted to check on you. After those texts you sent last night I had to see you.” He smiles and I’m reminded of how cute he is. He’s still wearing his suit so I know he came straight from work. He’s always reminded me of the actor Will Smith, tall, lanky and a little goofy. We used to joke that they were long-lost brothers since they shared similar looks and the same nickname.
Then his words register. Last night?
At the look on my face his grin falters. “You don’t remember texting me last night?”
Eyeing him warily, I pull my phone out of my bag and hit the icon for texts. Before going to bed, I’d texted Ariana a playful “Missing you!” along with a kissy face emoji.
Turns out I was messaging Will.
“That was meant for Ariana, actually.”
His face falls. “When I saw that, I figured it meant you were thinking about me too. You know, since yesterday…”
It dawns on me that yesterday would have been our wedding date. No wonder Will thought the message was meant for him. If things had gone according to plan, we would be on our honeymoon right now.
“I didn’t even realize the date. Sorry about that.” I’m just glad it wasn’t something worse. Some of the messages Ari and I send back and forth don’t ever need to see the light of day. “At least I wasn’t drunk dialing like Ari was when we got margaritas a few weeks ago.”
“Margaritas?” Now he sounds intrigued. “You’ve never been much of a drinker.”
“Well, things change. We went out drinking at this new tapas bar and it was a blast. Apparently I danced on the bar.”
He shakes his head slightly. “I can’t even imagine that. But I guess that means you had fun. That’s good. You sound happy.”
For the first time since we broke up, I’m not reading subtext into what he’s saying or assuming that he has an ulterior motive. I’m just taking his words at face value.
Because you don’t care what he thinks, I realize. It’s a liberating thought after so many years using his words and opinions as the litmus for how I lived my life. Now whether he approves or not has no effect on me. I’m secure in the knowledge that the people who really care about me aren’t judging me or waiting for me to make mistakes so they can rub my face in it.
With a little distance, I can also admit that maybe Will wasn’t trying to do that either. He has his share of flaws just like anyone else but he’s not the monster I’d built him up to be after the breakup.
Maybe it’s possible that Will and I are both good people, just not good for each other. And that’s completely okay.
“I am happy,” I finally respond. And it’s true. Despite what happened today, I feel pretty damn good about how my life is going right now. Things might be over with Milo but I’m not going to let that take away from everything else I’ve achieved. I have a great family, a best friend and roomie who would do anything for me and I have ice cream in my freezer.
Hey, I’m trying to look at the bright side here.