He pulls me up on my tiptoes for a soft kiss, his eyes going deep and dark in that way I love. "You will be going on a date with me and you'll definitely be moving in here eventually. So you might as well just go ahead and do it now."
"Bossy."
Suddenly he's serious. "I know I'm a lot to take on Ris but there's never going to be anyone else for me."
And how the hell am I supposed to resist that?
"Damn it, Finn. How do you always do that? You can make the craziest thing seem like it's logical." He makes me want to do crazy things with him. Because everything I do with him seems so natural.
"Because you know in your heart it isn't crazy at all. It's just the way things should have always been."
* * * * *
We talk all morning, taking a break only to soak in Finn's oversized jetted tub. Then he decides to try an experiment to see how many times he can get me off using the jet streams and his fingers. It turns out having sex in a Jacuzzi is a thing for a reason.
By the time we get out, we’re both exhausted, dehydrated and wrinkled like raisins. Finn takes his time drying my skin with a big fluffy towel and then wraps me in another one of his robes. I think he just likes seeing his clothes on me. I like it too.
After that, he leads me to the kitchen so he can cook me breakfast. I have to admit to being pleasantly surprised at his hidden talent. He slides a plate across the counter along with a glass of orange juice.
“Breakfast is served. Eat. I don’t want you skipping meals.”
I make a face at him but take a bite of my egg, cheese and tomato omelet. It’s so good I can’t contain a sigh of pleasure. He put a lot of cheese and just a touch of onions and it's divine. I don’t even care that every one of these calories is likely to go straight to my hips. It's amazing what being around Finn even for a short time has done for my body image. He's always been vocal about telling me that he loves my body and that my curves make him hot. When I view myself through his eyes, I stop focusing on every little flaw and see the big picture. That he loves me just the way I am.
"You've picked up quite a few skills since the old days. I know you couldn't cook before," I tease.
"After I moved in here, I got tired of ordering in. It's been fun to experiment and try some different things. Tank's girlfriend gave me a few recipes to start off with. She's a pretty good cook."
"I can't wait to meet her. Any girl that can make your brother admit that he likes cuddling sounds like my kind of girl."
"Can you get some time off today?" Finn asks before he takes my plate and puts it in the dishwasher.
I think about it. One of our contracts is for a small boutique that's closed on Fridays. Tracy usually handles that one and she's mentioned to me before that she would love to get more hours. Usually it's only an issue because I prefer not to send the girls out to big contracts without supervision. But Tracy has been with us for almost two years and she's always been reliable. Maybe some of our staffing issues can be solved if I learn to trust a bit more.
"It's possible, why?"
"Because it's Friday night. I want to take my girl out on the town."
I can't suppress a little tremble of excitement. Going out on a proper date was something that we never got to do when we were younger. Finn and I worked part-time jobs to help our moms' with bills and we never really had extra money for that kind of thing anyway. Our dates were usually things you could do for free like hanging in the park or making out on the bleachers at school during football games.
"I guess we've never really done that, huh?"
Finn winks at me. "I can finally take you out properly. I always wanted to take you to one of those restaurants where they speak French and all the portion sizes look like they're for ants. You know, the real fancy places."
I think of all the proper, elegant dates I had with Andrew. The Carringtons have a lot of influence in the state and there were many dinners and fundraisers that Andy was expected to attend. All those evenings when I would try to fit my curves into a dress that his mother would find appropriate and then have to spend the evening smiling at the insipid people he was trying to impress. It seemed like he w
as always playing a role. Until the mask slipped and I saw the ugly underside.
Even when he took me out and we were alone, it never felt like I really had his full attention. Leaving him has gotten more of his attention than anything else I've ever done.
"I used to dream about that, too. But my dream wasn't about where we were going. It was just about having all that time with you. And you'd only have eyes for me."
"I only had eyes for you anyway," Finn replies.
"Now, I know that. But back then I'd see you flirting or smiling at someone else and it made me wonder. I wasn't sure if I was enough to keep a man like you interested."
It's difficult to admit out loud that my insecurity is what ultimately drove us apart. If only I'd trusted in him, we could have been together, loving each other, for all these years.
Finn looks pained. "I never knew that. I always thought of flirting as harmless. Half the time I don't even realize when I'm doing it. But it's obviously not harmless if it cost me you."