God, I loved her.
I set the pictures back in the box and put it on the bookshelf, knowing I was done fucking around. I was done waiting. I was going to finally man up and tell Abigail the truth. I’d spread those conversation hearts out, cheesy as it may be, and let her see with her eyes that I could be soft, gentle, and romantic. And then when she looked up at me for confirmation, I’d hold her hands to my face, look deep in her blue eyes, and tell her she was it for me
Chapter Four
Abigail
A week later
I closed my textbook and lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling and contemplating if I should call Max and see if he wanted to do something, maybe grab a pizza and watch a movie. Or maybe I should just call it a night and go to bed early.
The last week of school, the last seven days of college, I’d been overwhelmed with sensory overload that I was surprised I actually enjoyed. The stress of everything new, all the people crowding the halls, the intensity of the classes, was so different than high school. And I was surprised I actually really liked it.
The workload from the classes, the fact that I felt like everything was getting thrown at me at once, was intimidating, but I liked the challenge. The only thing that seemed to overpower everything else on my mind was the fact that I couldn’t stop worrying about the “what ifs” where Max was concerned.
He was so patient and kind, never rushing or pressuring me. He knew I needed to do things on my own, had to figure things out myself. He was always in my mind. Always. A part of me did worry it would cause a rift in our friendship, but I refused to not have him in my life. We were meant to be together, even if that was just platonic.
He was my best friend. He was my soulmate. I heard the door open and looked over, hoping to see him. But Della shut the door and head to her bed, tossing her backpack on it and looking at me as she sat down. She braced her arms behind her and leaned back. She wore this saucy little grin, and I knew she was up to something. “What do you have going on tonight?”
I sat up and shook my head slowly. “Nothing, why?” I didn’t like the way her smile widened. Della was an extrovert to the nth degree. She wanted me to do something with her I probably wouldn’t like—that was obvious.
“So you know that guy I always talk to, my super, major crush?” I nodded. “There’s this frat party going on and he’s asked me to go, but I don’t want to go alone. Will you come with me, maybe for just like an hour?”
I wasn’t a partying kind of girl, and aside from the couple high school ones I’d gone to with Max, I’d stayed away from them. They were really out of my comfort zone. It had all been about drinking, near run-ins with half-naked students trying to get it on, and fights by testosterone, aggression-filled guys who wanted to have a pissing contest with each other.
It all left much to be desired. But maybe a college party would be different, more mature? Judging by movies I’d seen… I doubted it. I checked my phone and knew Max was still at work. He’d be there for another hour or so. I couldn’t call him to join us, so it looked like this was a solo mission.
“Pleeease?” She dragged out that word and gave me big puppy dog eyes. I laughed and shook my head.
“Okay,” I finally gave in, and she clapped her hands. “But I’m not changing. Jeans and my oversized sweater will have to do.”
She held up her hands in surrender. “You’d look hot wearing a damn trash bag.”
That had me laughing harder.
And as I watched her get ready, her nervousness clear, I got a flash of the past when I’d been falling for Max and had acted that same way.
How times had changed. There wasn’t a crush anymore. I had bone-deep, consuming love for him.
And I needed to do something about it.
Chapter Five
Abigail
I’d only been at the party for twenty minutes, and already I wanted to leave.
This wasn’t my scene.
At all.
I’d grabbed a beer when I’d first gotten here. I wasn’t a drinker, but I hoped maybe a little liquid courage would help the anxiety I felt. It hadn’t.
I wasn’t a people person, never had been. And this party was packed with unknown faces, bodies shoulder-to-shoulder as music pounded through speakers set up in the corner of the room, the scent of spilled alcohol a little nauseating.
Della disappeared almost as soon as we’d gotten here, asking if I’d be fine. I was too much of a chicken to ask her to stay by my side. She hadn’t made it a secret on why she wanted to come here tonight, so I’d nodded and told her to go. I was the third wheel, after all.