“Aly.” My name came out mangled from Emmett’s lips. “I didn’t think I’d see you ever again,” he said, his voice tortured as he moved toward me. “I tried reaching out so many times, but you didn’t answer. You know I didn’t regret what I did, but I hated everything that happened after. I hated that your dad sent you away. I knew from your mom that you felt lost for so many years after, and I felt like I took so much of your life from you,” he whispered, close enough to me now to take the papers from my hands.
I shook my head as he brushed my hair out of my face, thumbing the tears off my cheeks. I knew he wanted me to look him in the eye, but I couldn’t find the strength. I was rattled to my core, my limbs shaking as I realized that everything I knew about myself was not what I thought.
Everything I’d prided myself on achieving was never actually that. None of it was earned – it was given.
And by the boy who’d driven me to prove myself in the first place.
“Emmett, why? Why did you feel the need to do this?” I asked weakly, finally letting him tilt my face up to look in his eyes. The tears that welled in mine spilled faster down my cheeks when I caught the look of torment on his face.
“Because I wanted to fix things. I wanted to make up for all the pain I caused you. I knew you were still hurting from what happened, and I knew from both your mom and mine what you were up to here and there. I always kept an ear out for what you were doing because I wanted to know that whatever it was, you were happy. And that you’d moved on okay. When my mom told me you were having trouble getting hired, I asked where, she said Vandermark, and I made one call – that was it.”
“It’s not as simple as you’re making it out to be,” I protested tearfully. “I thought these were all things that happened organically. I thought I had made these things happen. I thought Drea was my friend.”
“She is your friend,” Emmett insisted. “A company like that isn’t going to hold onto an employee who isn’t working out for them. They’re too big and impatient for that, so when I say I only made a call, I promise you that’s all I did.”
“You knew from Drea that I wanted to open a restaurant.”
“I could’ve found out just as easily from my mom.”
“You didn’t have to be the one to invest in me,” I countered.
“No, I didn’t, but I wanted you to have everything you needed faster,” Emmett said. “I wanted to make your life easy for once. So you could just be happy.”
I was numb all the way to my cheeks as I stared emptily out at the room.
“Who knows about this?”
“No one but my business partner,” Emmett answered fast. “Julian doesn’t know. My mom definitely doesn’t. Your dad will never find out.”
I knew it was meant to be comforting but what he said only made me cry again because I just felt so damned stupid.
Turns out nothing had actually changed. I was still in second place. I was still in Emmett’s shadow, everything in my life at his mercy. And even if nobody knew it, I did, and I wasn’t sure how the hell I was going to get past it.
“Aly, please.”
“I know this came from a good place, Emmett.” I forced myself to be steady as I spoke. “I know you did this because you cared.”
He nodded, looking fearful for what I was about to say next, but I didn’t wind up saying anything.
I had no words left. I felt speechless and helpless, and for the next hour or so, I floated through Emmett’s apartment trying to figure out my head. Sometime in the afternoon, I even tried to talk to him about other things, to test whether or not I could feel normal about him after everything I’d just discovered.
I spent the rest of the day running those tests – even attempting a laugh at some point.
But no matter what I did, and no matter what we talked about, I couldn’t shake the knowledge that the great turning point in my life had actually been a lie. I couldn’t feel anything but shame around Emmett, no matter what he said to me – no matter how sweetly he kissed me or held me.
By evening, my heart had broken a million times over. Because while I wanted this man more than anything in the world, I knew in my heart that I could never look at him the same again.
So in the night, while Emmett slept, I wiggled one last time out of his arms. Without making a sound, I cried as he rolled onto his back, still fast asleep as I slipped out the door.
34
EMMETT
Two Weeks Later
I was supposed to be watching the score with Drew, but all I’d really done for ten minutes was stare at the giant NYE logo on the floor. The Empires clubhouse had been remodeled last year, so now there were bright white logos on every shiny surface. There were also four massive flat screens playing the game, and the spotlights that glowed over each player’s locker made it look like a shrine to a king.
So it was definitely comical to see Drew hunched over his, covered in dirt and muttering like a crazy person under his breath.