He’d been with her three years. I had no idea how they ended, but suddenly I wanted to see where Lyla Townsend was from. If she had always been from Asheville or if she had grown up in New Jersey.
“So.” Holland reached across the table to touch my hand. “Now that that douche Caspar is totally out of the picture, are you looking to start dating again?” she asked, a mischievous little twinkle in her eye. When I squinted playfully at her, Iain laughed.
“We’ve gotten to know the new head of marketing at Minx. His name is Gavin and he’s a good guy, so naturally, Holland wants to set him up with you.”
My heart thumped as I raised my eyebrows, looking from Iain to Holland, who grinned boldly. “I know it’s a little soon, but it could just be for fun, and if I show you a picture, you’re definitely going to say—oh! Hi!”
I blinked, confused for all of a second before I felt a prickle of heat travel up the back of my neck. Suddenly stiff, I swallowed, sensing Adam’s presence a second before I heard his jovial voice.
“Hey, you.” I looked to my right to see him grinning wide as Holland jumped up to give him a hug. He kissed the top of his head before turning to Iain, who slid out of the booth to give him their usual handshake-half-hug greeting.
He seemed perfectly happy, and the smile was still on his face when he turned to me. But like a light switch, his cheery gaze flickered to something so hard and steely I felt a lump form in my throat. “What’s up,” he said to me casually, like he was greeting any one of his guy friends. It wasn’t unlike how he had greeted me at past work events when we had seen each other just hours before.
But obviously, this situation was a little different.
“Hey,” I said normally as everyone sat down. And as Adam started talking to Holland and Iain about their flight and which hotel they were in, I told myself to be rational about my anger.
You’re mad because he lied about Knox. And Lyla.
You cannot be mad that he’s barely acknowledged you and is treating you like nothing ever happened, because that is literally what you asked him to do when you told him to hold off on telling Holland. He has no idea why you said it and he’s hurt.
He’s trying to act normal. Just like you.
I reminded myself that, but still, half of me seethed, annoyed at how good Adam was at faking normal.
Maybe because that was what he’d been doing this whole time with me, for who knows how long. While I thought we were pursuing Knox because of baseball, we were actually pursuing him because of a girl. And all through that, I’d laughed and smiled with Adam the way he was doing with Holland and Iain right now. I’d been his friend. His loyal assistant.
I’d slept with him. Fallen for him.
You idiot, I told myself as Adam’s teasing voice next to me broke through the thick haze of my thoughts.
“Holland. What are you so busy doing on your phone?”
I blinked, quickly coming to, because I already knew the answer.
“I’m just trying to find a picture of Gavin for AJ,” Holland said.
I felt the instant tension in the air as Adam stilled beside me. I caught the look he exchanged with Iain across the table, and suddenly I realized that Iain knew.
About Adam and me.
Perhaps not all of it, but some of it, because judging by the flash of apology in his eye, Adam was shooting him some sort of death look.
My mind raced for a second.
If Iain has known, but didn’t tell Holland, it’s because he hoped this would end. He knew this was a bad idea, I told myself as Adam finally broke the silence Holland didn’t even seem to notice.
“Who’s Gavin?” he asked, and though his voice was light, casual, I could make out the hint of tightness. Irritation.
“He’s a new friend we’re going to introduce to AJ,” she said as she handed her phone across the table to me. Whatever look Adam flashed her made her laugh and clarify, “Just for fun. Nothing serious.”
Oh, he won’t like that either, Holland, I thought as I took her phone and looked at the photo of Gavin.
I almost wanted to laugh. Mostly because he was on a boat. Shirtless, tanned. Conventionally handsome.
Absolutely nothing compared to Adam.
Even before the whirlwind of the past few weeks, I wouldn’t have noticed a Gavin walking down the street, because Adam had long dulled my ability to be impressed by other men. I may not have realized it at the time, but it was just what happened when someone spent every day with a man like Adam. Every day, even when I wasn’t looking at him like that, he was still seeping into my brain. My bloodstream. He was still becoming deep enough a part of me that eventually, it was just something I knew: That no other man was like him.