I wasn’t taking credit for his success in any way, but I also speculated on how my life would’ve been different if I hadn’t made the choices I had.
CHAPTER 15
Ronan (Now)
I leaned a hip against the counter in the kitchen and sipped on my scotch as I waited for Tate to do a self-tour through my place.
I couldn’t believe that Tate Harris was walking through my penthouse, my home, after all these years. And I was letting him.
Even crazier, we were about to have sex.
Never once did I expect we’d be back to this point in our lives.
His questions had been an obvious delay tactic—not because I didn’t think he wanted to have sex, maybe not bottom, though—but because he wanted details about my life and for me to drop the fortress walls I had built around me.
While I gave him some details—the ones he could easily research online if he cared to—I didn’t give him all.
He’d have to earn them. He couldn’t simply walk back into my life and expect me to act like he never left.
Because he did.
And in a way, I had a hard time forgiving him for it.
Ultimately, that was what he wanted from me. Forgiveness.
It wouldn’t come easy, if it came at all.
He might want a new beginning, but I wasn’t sure I could ever get over the last ending.
As I waited for him to return, I reflected on the success I’ve had over the years. Would I have been as successful if Tate and I had stayed together?
Would I have been as driven? Would I have fought as hard to make my way in the world? To prove everyone wrong? That someone like me could claw their way to the top?
Maybe not. Back then, Tate had an easy life. Maybe I would’ve slipped into that easy life along with him.
I guess I had Dahlia’s calculated scheming to partially thank for how determined I was to create my own path in life.
She knew how rich his family was and really didn’t want a career. It turns out, she only went to college to find a good husband who would let her be a housewife. Or trophy wife. Her major in college had been husband-hunting. And once she had set her eyes on Tate, she had her target.
Only, a freshman came along and screwed that up for her.
She had Tate within her grasp and I had pulled him free, without that even being my intent. She considered all the time she had put into Tate wasted when he broke up with her.
As graduation closed in and she realized she had no excuse to avoid finding a job since she didn’t land a potential husband, she began to panic and resorted to tricking Tate into sleeping with her again.
Most likely her original intent was to convince him he wasn’t gay or even bi. To show him he was only confused and she could prove to him he was straight.
Even worse, by convincing him that I had only messed with his head. That it had been me who’d been out to scheme, not her.
However, the method she used to prove all of this ended up being way more effective.
And changed the course of all our lives.
Ronan (Then)
Even though Tate’s graduation was still a few days away, I was already feeling the loss. Unless he landed one of the jobs he applied for in Pittsburgh or the surrounding areas, we’d be apart for the next two years until I graduated.
Yes, we’d have this summer together, as well as the next, and my breaks between semesters, but that would never be enough time for us.
We could also text, call and email, even Skype, but it wasn’t the same as climbing into bed with him every night and waking up next to him every morning.
I hoped we’d at least have this summer together in the apartment we now shared. Since this would be my last year required to live on campus, if he got a job locally, I could finally give up the dorm room I paid for, but rarely spent time in, and “officially” move in with Tate.
However, if Tate moved too far away to start his journalism career, I’d be securing another dorm room on campus for my junior and senior years. It would be more affordable and convenient for me.
It sucked, but I kept telling myself I needed to have patience when it came to our relationship. The time I was investing now, with both Tate and school, would pay off in the future.
Graduating from college and also being on the Dean’s list every semester was as important to me as Tate. He encouraged me to stay and finish getting my degree.
I was now majoring in Entrepreneurship, a path I hadn’t even thought of before my advisor happened to suggest it. My ears had perked up and I bugged him for all of the details.