Right now, I needed to concentrate on getting my feet securely under me at Burgh Media.
I had been so deep in thought and since Ronan didn’t say a damn word the whole time, he pulled in front of my place of employment in the blink of an eye.
I shook my head at myself when I realized I had wasted the time during the drive I could have used for conversation and getting him to open up.
I needed to do better if he offered again. But then, without much sleep I wasn’t on my game this morning.
“Text me what time you want me to pick you up.”
“Roe…”
“Text me,” he repeated more firmly.
I stared at his profile since he wasn’t looking at me but straight out the windshield.
“Roe,” I tried again. I wanted to tell him he didn’t have to go out of his way, but, honestly, I was relieved he was willing to do so. And I took it as another small step forward.
“Or don’t.”
Shit. “Okay, I will.”
He pursed his lips and I thought he would say something else but instead, he only nodded. My attention was drawn to his fingers flexing on the steering wheel. Squeezing and releasing, squeezing and releasing.
A sign I recognized from “before” that he was struggling to keep a hold of his emotions.
I wouldn’t push it or him. “Thank you. I know you don’t have to do this, but I appreciate it.”
As I unfolded myself from the Maserati, the pill bottle I had shoved last minute into the pocket of my suit pants fell onto the seat I had just vacated.
Holy shit.
Before I could lunge for it, his hand struck out like a snake and he got it first. “What are these?” He held it up in front of his face and squinted at the bottle of anti-depressants as he turned it and read the prescription label.
Shit. “Nothing.”
I leaned into the car and tried to snatch the container from his fingers but he switched hands and put it out of my reach. I would have to climb back into the car and get into a tussle with him to retrieve it.
But really, it was already too late. The name of the prescription was one he’d recognize. And the reason I needed them.
Yes, if I wanted a future with him, he would eventually find out anyway. Only, I had hoped to put it off until we were way beyond where we were currently.
His dark eyes turned to mine, where I still leaned into the passenger side, waiting for him to say something.
When he didn’t, I said, “As you know, my life didn’t turn out like I’d hoped.”
“It’s not over yet.”
Many times I had wished it was. Hence, the medication. But that was a conversation for another time. Not when I was standing in front of my place of employment.
Without warning, he tossed the pill bottle at me and I barely caught it in time.
“Don’t forget it was a life you chose, Tate. You have no one to blame but yourself.”
I shoved the container deep into my suit jacket pocket. “You’re right. I accept the blame but that doesn’t mean damage wasn’t left behind. Can we get past that now and move forward?”
“I won’t make promises I’m not sure I can keep.”
“I’m not asking for a promise. I’m just asking if you’ll at least try.”
I held my breath as he considered me. “I thought long and hard last night about what you want from me…”
I forced down the lump in my throat as I waited for the other shoe to drop.
This was where he would suggest we only remain civil to each other since we lived in the same building. He’d want to remain strictly neighbors and nothing more.
I was completely floored when he finally said, “I’m willing to try.”
What? I grasped the open passenger door to keep from collapsing right there on the pavement. To keep myself from curling up into a ball and begin crying in relief.
I blinked a few times to lessen the sting in my eyes and I pinned my lips together to help keep my composure.
“Roe,” managed to work its way up my closed throat.
“Eat early.” I waited for him to tell me I’d have to prep again, but instead he finished with, “We’ll grab dinner after I pick you up later.”
“I… Uh…”
He arched one eyebrow at me. A warning not to fuck this up.
I nodded. “Okay.”
“Now… close the door, Tate.”
I shut the passenger door and remained at the curb as the GranTurismo sped away like a rocket.
A smile that was actually genuine for once curled my lips. I closed my eyes and lifted my face toward the late morning sun.
It was bright and warm.
I hoped my future was the same.
CHAPTER 18
Ronan (Now)
Lying in bed, I stared at his profile, wondering if he hadn’t done what he did and we had stayed together back then, would we still be together now? Or would our relationship not have withstood the sands of time anyhow?