“Anyway,” Wendy continued, “Olly’s a handful as usual, but I don’t know if that’s because he’s a little boy or because he’s doubling up the antics to get attention. I am guessing it’s the former, though. I remember being a rather rambunctious little girl.”
“I bet,” I said. “Must be a lot to keep up with.”
“It is,” she said. “But it’s the best.”
“I hope I find out one day,” I said, not even realizing I’d said it. I could feel my cheeks redden a bit as Wendy turned to look at me. I glanced over, and she had a grin on her face.
“I’m sure you will,” she said.
The day flew by splendidly, as they tended to when I worked with Wendy, but even more so because of the morning that preceded it. I felt myself drifting and falling backward in time as I thought about the night before whenever I had a moment that I didn’t need to be paying strict attention. Wendy was learning well, and mostly handled the job herself, which was par for the course with her. I didn’t mind taking an easier day and daydreaming instead. I’d be back to being alone on the job soon enough.
As soon as we got back to the office, I clocked out and bade Wendy goodbye with a hug and a vague agreement to get together in the next week or so with Finn and the kids. Then, I ducked out and got in the truck, cranking up the radio. I had been thinking all day about what I was going to do when I got off work.
I drove to the grocery store out at the edge of town and went inside with a very specific mission. The town wasn’t big enough to have its own flower shop, no matter how many husbands full of regret wanted there to be. Instead, there was the little flower store built into the mega mart, which was where I went. I took my time picking out a bouquet and then happily went back to my truck, not needing GPS to get to her address. I had been thinking about the drive over all day.
I was still humming the last song when I shut the door and checked out my reflection in the mirror. I had a bug-out bag in the back seat with a change of clothes that I had thrown in when I was at home, and I figured I could come back out and get it should the situation arise. But I didn’t want to be presumptuous.
Walking up the sidewalk to her house, I let the smile wash over my face and fill my step with an extra pop. I knocked on the door, holding the flowers behind my back, and waited. When the door opened, I pulled them out in front of me and looked down into the face that I expected to be happy and surprised. My heart sunk.
Her face had no happiness or surprise. Only worry.
23
MALIA
Having Gerry at my place in the morning was officially the best way to start any day. Maybe I hadn’t really gotten a lot of experience with it yet, but I felt confident making that declaration with what evidence I’d gathered so far.
The only problem with it was he had to leave. I didn’t want him to. I wanted to just stay curled up in the bed with him and pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist. If the world didn’t exist, then it meant that I didn’t have to face any of the things I was worried about. I wouldn’t have to be stressed or anxious or frustrated. That was a big one for me. Being frustrated was something I’d dealt with more in the last few months than in my entire life combined.
And with the kinds of dreams and aspirations I’d always had, that was saying a lot.
It was easy to feel like I was constantly whining to myself. I did my best not to sound like I was always moaning and groaning about the circumstances I was facing and how my life had changed. Mostly because I refused to look at myself as a victim or like my life had been taken away from me because of the amputation.
Some people might want to see it that way, but there was no way I was going to go out like that. Maybe it changed some things. It definitely put me on a different path than I ever expected to be one. But I wasn’t just going to lie down and let the world walk over me and tell me what and who I was going to be because of it. More than that, I wasn’t going to let it tell me what I couldn’t be or accomplish.
If someone wanted to say I wasn’t as capable or worthy because I didn’t have a leg, let them come for me. They could just stand there and watch. I would do everything I wanted to do and accomplish anything I wanted to. Nothing was going to stop me.