His eyebrows shoot up and his back straightens, all sexual playfulness gone. “Of course, I do. Why would you ask that?”
I reach out and lay my hand on his chest, over his heart. “Then you need to trust that if I’m withholding something from you, it’s for a reason. You have to trust that everything I do is for you, and for us. I know what I’m doing.”
He places his hand over mine and shakes his head, looking down at the floor. “I’m terrified to lose you again.”
My heart melts at the brokenness of his voice. We’ve come so far together, but we still have a million miles to go. I step forward, putting my body against his, sliding my hand up to tilt his chin so he looks at me. “That’s never gonna happen.”
He kisses me and within moments, he’s lifted me, entered me, and fucks me at a steady pace against the front wall of the shower, the water spraying down onto us. Nothing has ever felt so good.
†††
An hour later, we’re re-dressed and having a late breakfast together in the kitchen. Things are quiet lately and that tends to make me nervous. Every day I expect Jameson and Samuel to walk in the room to update me on something, but they don’t. I hide it better than the others, but remembering they’re gone is like someone ripping an old wound open with their bare hands.
I miss them.
Now that Blake and I are okay again, and I’ve set him at ease somewhat, maybe pulling off this mission will be easier. I feel bad for using trust as a way to lie to him, but it’s important. I have to do this on my own.
Sammi catches my attention over Blake’s shoulder and motions for me to follow her. I stand quietly and kiss Blake’s shoulder as I walk past him. He stares at me as I walk away, I can feel it, but says nothing.
Sammi keeps her hand on the door and steps to the side, closing it quickly after I enter— the lock clicking ominously, sealing us temporarily in the room.
“I’ve found it,” she says, swiping a piece of paper off her desk.
“Found what,” I say puzzled as she hands me the paper before pacing between me and her desk.
“A drug to use. To knock everyone out long enough for you to get away.” She stops moving long enough to make eye contact.
My heart races as I read the paper she’s given me.
Midazolam. Used mainly for minor surgical procedures. 1-4mg depending on the weight of the patient. Lasts 1-6 hours.
“Sammi, you’re a genius. How does it have to be given to them?”
“It can be done in several ways. Putting it in their drinks and finding a way for everyone to drink it at the same time might be easiest. I don’t really want to try to stick Vlad or Dresden with a needle.” She grimaces, shaking her head from side to side.
“Yeah, me neither. We’re gonna need help.”
“Who would even consider helping us with this shit? Come on, Lil.”
“Teresa,” I say, more under my breath than to Sammi.
“Teresa? You’re kidding? She’s loyal to Blake. She’s not going to help you drug and lie to the man. He pays her salary, remember?”
“She’s done it once before. She’ll do it again.” I stare at Sammi, the realization that this is going to work. “Order it. Make sure you get the package and no one else. If anyone else finds out you have a tranquilizer, you better come up with a damn good lie.”
“I will. You can trust me, Lily.” She stands straighter.
“And burn this,” I say, holding the paper out toward her.
; She slides into her office chair after tossing the paper into the low burning embers of her fireplace. “Go. Before they come in here wanting to know what we’re up to.”
I can’t help but smile at her as she swivels to face her screens. How do I stay angry at someone who betrayed me for all the right reasons? If I’d been in Sammi’s shoes, and it was Sorina on the line—
Sammi is still family. And once again, she’s helping me with a task I can’t trust anyone else with.
26