He then asked if I wanted the treatment to be over and I said yes—though I could hardly get the word out, I was so choked with sobs. He wanted to help me off the table but I couldn’t wait. I finally got off and ran back here to the bathing chamber where I have been weeping my eyes out for the past hour, though I still don’t know why.
Maybe it was because the scent of the oil he used reminded me of home. Or maybe I was just so tense from waiting for him to grab me—I really don’t know but I wish I did.
I’ve shed many tears since I came here to live in the palace inside the Le’rank Family Compound, but I always knew the reason for them—Baslik’s cruelty or my Nana’s death. Why not being hurt or grabbed should make me weep, I really have no idea…
Isla paused, nibbling the end of her pen in concentration. But there didn’t seem to be anything else to say. She still couldn’t say why the treatment had affected her so deeply—why it had made her cry even though her new guard hadn’t done any of the horrible things she’d been anticipating.
She just kept thinking of how big and warm his hands were, and how gently he had touched her. Why, he hadn’t slapped or pinched or hurt her once. Nor had he twisted her nipples or jammed his fingers inside her to try to bring on her glow by force—he only rubbed her with those big, warm hands, touching her as no one else ever had.
It didn’t occur to her that she was crying because this was the first time in her life that a man had touched her with tenderness rather that lust or greed or the desire to hurt her. She still couldn’t internalize the fact that the huge Kindred bodyguard didn’t seem to want anything from her except to soothe and comfort her.
Because she had been sheltered until her marriage and had never had any kind of close relationship with a man before Baslik Le’rank, she had assumed that all men were like him—hard and hurtful and cruel. The thought that there could be males who didn’t want to abuse or hurt a female hadn’t even occurred to her.
She had no idea what to think of the new guard, because she had never met anyone like him before. And because of that, she had no frame of reference for him and no idea of what he might do next.
However, she supposed she would find out soon enough whether she wanted to or not.
TEN
From the recorded logs of Sark, Hybrid Kindred Warrior and Security Specialist for Hire:
She finally came out of the fresher about an hour after midnight. I had been lying in the cot the servants brought for me—actually it was more like a low single bed on wheels. It wasn’t very broad but it was comfortable, owing to the fact that it was long enough for me to stretch out on—which is pretty unusual given my height and size.
I had them set it up alongside Isla’s own bed—a huge, canopied monstrosity with gray demi-satin drapes which dominated the middle of her bedroom and could have fit three of me. I could have slept on one side with her on the other and rolled over twice before touching her.
But it was bad enough I was invading her rooms—I wasn’t going to invade her bed as well. She had to feel like there was someplace that was just for her—someplace safe. I didn’t want to intrude on her territory anymore than I already was.
I watched through slitted eyes as she peeked around the edge of the fresher door, clearly looking to see if I was asleep. I suppose I could have pretended to be—though I never sleep much while I’m on guard duty—I can get by on short naps for a long time. But I wanted to talk to her—to tell her I was sorry if I had hurt her. I still didn’t know why she had burst out crying and that was the best explanation, though I really had tried to be as gentle as possible.
So I waited until she had tiptoed over to the bed and had climbed into it to speak.
“My lady,” I said and she gave a little gasp and put a hand to her chest.
“Wh-what?” she exclaimed and looked like she might jump out of bed and run for the fresher again.
“Please don’t go,” I told her, trying to keep my voice low and soothing. “I just want to talk—want to apologize if I hurt you earlier.”
“You…you didn’t hurt me.” She shook her head quickly. She was wearing a virginal white nightgown and with her long silver hair down around her shoulders, I thought she looked like a little girl up past her bedtime.