Hailey puts a hand on my shoulder, and I stop next to her. "I'm telling you that she was really, really upset. Please don't hurt her again."
"I won't," I tell her, looking her straight in her eyes. "I promise I'll never hurt her again."
Hailey nods her head and moves her hand so that I can get by. I leave and drive toward downtown. I go straight to the bookstore, walk up the back steps to her apartment, and bang on the door. It feels like it takes forever for Amanda to come, and when she does, I'm amazed by the sight in front of me. She looks so sad. Her eyes are almost swollen shut.
As soon as she sees me, she takes off running in the opposite direction toward the bathroom. I follow behind her, and she's hovering over the toilet, losing the contents of her stomach. I grab a washcloth from under the sink, put it under the cold water, and then drape it across her neck before rubbing her back up and down. There are so many things I want to say to her, but I don't.
She takes deep breaths when she's done, and then she struggles to her feet. I try to help her, but she holds her hand out to push me away. "Give me a minute. I'll meet you in the living room."
Reluctantly, I leave her alone and walk out into the living room and pace back and forth.
As soon as she comes out, I open my mouth, but she holds her hand up to stop me. "If you ask me if it's yours—"
Before she can finish, I grunt at her, "I know it's mine. Were you going to tell me?"
She shrugs and won't look me in the face. "Yes. I just found out today. But yes, I was going to tell you. Honestly, though, I didn't think you'd care."
I walk toward her. "I care, honey."
She shakes her head and clenches her eyes. "Don't call me that. You walked out on me, Chance. You walked away from me."
I'm filled with guilt, but I know I can't go back and change the past. "But I'm here now, Amanda. This is a small apartment, but we can make do. I'll find another job."
She shakes her head in confusion. "Another job? What are you talking about?"
"I know you hate living on the ranch. But I'm thinking I can train horses or even work at the rodeo. Surely, I can find something else I'm good at. We wouldn't have to live on the ranch. I’ll give it all up."
She looks at me square in the eye without blinking. "What do you mean I hate ranching?"
I take the last remaining steps toward her and put my hands on her upper arms to hold her still. "I went and talked to your dad and I told him how I felt about you. He told me about how you hated living on the ranch. And that if I married you, you would come to resent me and how you'd be miserable. I couldn't do that to you, Amanda."
She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before doing it again. She clenches her eyes shut and then opens them, looking at me with more clarity than she had before. "I don't hate ranching. I hated living on OUR ranch. It was filled with memories of my mother, and it's like I couldn't get over my grief while I was living there. It had nothing to do with ranching, Chance. My dad wasn't completely honest with you."
My heart starts to race in my chest. "So you would marry me and live on the Bryant Ranch, in our house?"
She gives me a simple nod. "I would have, yes."
The way she says that in past tense guts me. I know that I've made mistakes, but I know that I need to make it right.
I get down on one knee before her and look up at her pleadingly. The only way I know how to do this is to put it all on the line. I pull the box from my pocket and hold it up to her. "I bought this the week after we met. I knew the first day that I met you that I wanted you to be my wife. I fell in love with you then, and I haven't stopped. The only reason that I let you go is because I thought you would be unhappy with me, and I couldn't do that to you. I will spend the rest of my life making my mistakes right... fixing them. Because nothing else in this world matters except for you"—I cup her soft belly—"and our baby. That's it, Amanda. Will you please marry me?"
She wants to say yes, I can see it in her face, but she asks me, "Are you sure you're not doing this because I'm pregnant?"