“Already fucked off,” Hayes said, leaving the room.
Gram smiled indulgently, our colorful language not affecting her in the slightest. She stood and moved into Kennedy’s vacant seat, right beside me. “You’re getting closer to clearing Buck’s name,” she observed.
I stabbed my fingers through my hair. I just connected with Indi, and I was off on a job on another continent. Then there was the ever-present need to solve Buck’s shit. My own, too.
It was piling up, the need for a woman, the frustration with the government that I thought had my back.
“Not close enough.”
She set her aged hand on top of mine. “No, this latest death—poor man—is going to unearth some things. It’s too big a coincidence to have two translators from the same team dead. This will have to get the attention of military police.”
I liked her optimism, but if they could pin so much on Buck and kick me out, whoever was leading this clusterfuck was smart enough to make Gentry’s death look like a suicide, so it wouldn’t be noticed.
“Not sure that’s what we want, Gram,” I said. There was no connection between Indi and anything that happened in Afghanistan, but her safety still scared the shit out of me. I couldn’t protect Buck. I couldn’t let her down in the same way, even though we were in Sparks. Far from a war that was now over.
“Of course, it is. Not everyone is corrupt in the military. You will ultimately need someone on the inside to help you pull this case together.”
“We have Lincoln.” Our old CO needed us as much as we needed him. His hands were tied with protocol and regulations. My team had none.
“Yes, of course, but he’s not working on this case in an official capacity. You need military police on it.”
“Perhaps. Maybe I’ll reach out to the family of the other translator. See what they were told.”
She nodded. “That’s a good idea. Have you shared all this with Indi?”
“No,” I barked too sharply. “I need her to stay out of it.”
She frowned, the wrinkles on her face deepening. “Why?”
Why? “People are dying over this. I got dismissed. I can’t have Indi stirring the pot somehow and getting the attention of the wrong people.”
“By sharing your burdens with her?”
“Exactly.”
Gram nodded thoughtfully. “How long do you think you can hide it from her?”
“Until it’s solved.” I stood from the table and paced around the small room.
“But you’re planning on…continuing your relationship with her.”
“Yes.”
“May I ask a question, Ford?”
“Shoot.”
“Are you getting into a relationship with Indi out of your guilt and sense of responsibility for Buck’s death?”
“Hell, no!” I exploded then dialed it back because, after all—it was Gram. “Sorry. No. Not at all.”
Of course, Gram didn’t know about the bedroom incident years ago or that Indi and I had shared an attraction for much longer than the few days we’d been together now.
“I always wanted Indi.” It was the first time I’d actually voiced that truth. “I just couldn’t pursue her before. Buck would’ve killed me.”
I could see now—all along it had been about Buck. His demands that I stay away from Indi. The bro code. What he’d wanted. I’d honored that for almost ten years. But why? Why had he wanted me to stay away? Because he didn’t think I was good enough for his sister? I’d had his back in fucking battle. I’d held him when he’d died. I was the one who was going to clear his name. Maybe he thought no one was good enough for her. It didn’t matter. Indi had to make her own choice. And so far, for some fucking reason, she’d chosen me.
“Ah,” Gram said knowingly. “That may have been true at one time. But you know it’s not anymore. If Buck was alive, he’d be thrilled to know two of the people closest to him were in love.”
In love.
I stood and paced the small room, the braided rag rug beneath my feet.
Was I in love with Indi?
Definitely.
This… thing with her went beyond a physical attraction. Indi was everything I admired in a woman. She was smart and funny and damn capable. She and I had shared values and a shared history that involved both our love and our grief over Buck. It included growing up in the same small town. She’d been around through thick and thin, from the day I moved to Sparks, as much a part of my adolescence as Buck had.
“Buck caught us together once when we were on leave,” I admitted, staring into the kitchen. “It didn’t go well.”
“Well, that’s different,” she admitted. “A sailor on leave is trouble. Of course, he wouldn’t want that for Indi, even with you. Because that’s what it would have been.”
“True,” I agreed.
“Ford.”
I turned and met her gaze.
“Regardless of why you returned, you’re here now. Staying in Sparks. Putting down roots. With your team. You’re definitely worthy of her. Buck would be overjoyed. So would your grandfather.”