Great. Just great. The more time I spend away from Nathan Callis, the clearer it became to me that it was the former model who held the upper hand in this…this thing that we had between us.
Freddie caught sight of my expression. “What is it?”
“I just realized that I don’t actually know what he does with his time. I mean, he’s retired from modeling, so what does he do now?”
Her forehead furrowed, and she said thoughtfully, “You know, I don’t think Sergei or Reid’s ever mentioned anything about that either.”
“Could be he doesn’t have a job so there’s actually nothing to say.”
“You’re such a bitch.”
“Or maybe he just spends the entire day gazing at the mirror and---”
“Alyx!” Freddie looked torn between horror and laughter. “You’re being judgmental again.”
I watched gloomily as my cousin reached for her glass of iced tea with a rueful shake of her head. Freddie just didn’t get it. I was being a bitch because I couldn’t face the fact that I knew so little about Nathan Callis---
And yet I still had let him eat my pussy.
I looked at Freddie. “I’m a slut.”
My cousin choked on her drink.
“And I don’t know what’s worse. Me being a slut or me being a traitor---” But as soon as the words were out, I had my answer. Making out with Nathan Callis – whom I had so vocally professed to dislike – was one thing. But me falling for him was another, and the latter made me cringe and feel nauseous at the same time.
Again, the question hammered into my brain.
How had my life come to this?
“Stop thinking of yourself like that.” Freddie’s lips were pursed in disapproval. “You’ve done your best – and you’re still doing your best to stay away, and there’s nothing more you can do.”
“But I let him know, Freddie.” My voice was tight. “I shouldn’t have, but I just---”
“You didn’t mean to!”
“I think I didn’t mean to. I want to think I didn’t mean to, but---” I slumped over the table and buried my face in my arms. “What if I subconsciously did?” What if I was really just a selfish bitch who wanted to ruin things between him and my best friend? I told myself that my feelings shouldn’t and would never change a thing.” The words came out muffled as I tried to burrow deeper into the cocoon of black space between my arms. “I promised myself I wouldn’t do or say anything---”
Guilt tore at my throat, preventing me from speaking.
“Alyx…” Freddie’s voice was pained.
I lifted my head. “I fucked up, Freddie. Me, the one who’s supposed to be smart and---”
“If you’re so smart,” Freddie argued vehemently, “then you should be smart enough to understand and accept how human hearts work.” Her tone became helpless. “We can’t control our heart’s desires, Alyx. It’s never meant to work that way, and if it could be controlled, then none of us would ever be exceptionally brave or extraordinarily courageous. If our hearts could be ruled, then we’d all choose to be ordinary and boring because that’s---” She broke off, her gaze veering towards the side.
“What is it?” I blurted out. “Is it Sergei?”
“Huh?” Then she blinked. “No!”
Her tone was a little bit too defensive, and I frowned. “You know, you haven’t mentioned him lately. Has something---”
“Now’s not the time to talk about Sergei,” she muttered.
“Oh, so we can talk about my boy trouble but we can’t---”
A hand settled on my shoulder from behind.
I froze.
“Because of that,” Freddie finished weakly. I watched her gaze move over my head. “Hello, Nathan.”
“Hello, Fredericka.”
Ah, shit.
I felt him bend down, and then he was whispering into my ear, “Did I hear you right, sweetheart? Is my girlfriend having boy trouble?”
“Err---”
“And since I know I haven’t done anything to trouble you…” His voice turned into a silky purr. “Does this mean I have a rival?”
Alyx And Nathan
Whenever Alyx was alone with her thoughts, she would find herself doubting what she remembered. Surely Nathan Callis couldn’t be as beautiful as her memories insisted. Surely he had some kind of flaw?
But then she would see him in person and she’d realize how wrong she was. If anything, the ex-model was even more handsome than her stupid mind was capable of comprehending. The fact that her heart hadn’t stopped bleeding over his rejection didn’t seem to make any difference to her body, which always reacted in all sorts of crazy ways.
Her face flushing, her breasts becoming heavy, her stomach tightening---
If Alyx were Eve, then Nathan would be the forbidden fruit, and dammit, dammit, dammit, every time she saw the ex-model, she wanted to take a bite out of him. Or vice versa. She wasn’t really fussy, as long as there’d be biting.
And it wasn’t any different now.
Nathan was pulling her out of her chair, and Alyx let him, shock making her unable to think of a reason to protest. “Hello, gorgeous.” Before she could answer, he had already lowered his head and stole a kiss from her lips.