I focus my magick to create a bright orb of light, which hovers above my palm.
“Aefre, NO!” Constantine shouts as Cole yells, “Liv!” They both dive for me as I shoot the orb towards my charge, one of so many I turned just because I wanted to, to suit my own needs, with no regard for them. The orb hits him, and he flinches. “Thank you,” he projects into my mind somehow. Then he disintegrates in a great ball of light.
I cry out in pain – emotional, as well as physical – as Constantine and Cole land on me a second too late.
“I’m sorry,” I say over and over again as I fall into a heap on the floor.
“Liv? Liv? Are you okay?” Cole asks me in a panic as he pulls me into his arms. CK is just staring at me in horror as if I might go up in flames at any minute.
“I’m okay,” I mutter. “My own magick won’t hurt me. No matter what other factors.”
“Fuck, Aefre. I have never been so terrified in all my life,” CK says, dragging me to my feet and embracing me. “Don’t ever do anything like that again.”
“I had to. He was in so much pain. I had to,” I whisper as he carries me back up the steps. “You should have told me straight away,” I say to him. “Maybe I could have helped him then. Maybe he would have been all right.”
“No, my love. I don’t even want you to know the state he was in when we found him. There is nothing you could have done.”
I close my eyes and say, “There has been too much killing lately. I can’t do anymore. Are there any more secrets? Any of you harboring something I should know about?” The pain of killing one of my own is slicing though me and making me slightly hysterical again.
They all shake their heads at me warily and I mutter, “I better not find out afterwards.”
CK puts me down and I reach into the cupboard that houses the Scotch. Not bothering with a glass, I pop the lid and drink deeply. “I need a minute alone,” I say as I reach down to retrieve my shoes. I wander off upstairs to my old room. Pausing at the door, I turn back and go towards CK’s room. It is exactly how we left it last year: my robe still slung over the chair and the candles still in place, all a bit dusty. He clearly hasn’t allowed anyone back in here since those two days in June. Those two wonderful days.
I mentally light the candles and my anguish eases. I crawl onto the bed with the bottle of Scotch and take another deep drink, curling up on my side.
CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED FOURTEEN
Sometime later, I hear CK say, “Thought I might find you in here.”
I ignore him.
“Oh, Aefre. Don’t do this. Don’t shut me out again,” he sighs as he climbs onto the bed behind me and drapes his arm over me, just like he used to do after he found me. We lie in silence for a few more minutes, then Cole and Sebastian find us.
“Liv?” Cole says.
I turn to him. I don’t want to leave the comfort of CK’s arms. He must see it pass across my cursed face as he stares at me, and I see him debate whether to join us. He flicks his eyes to CK, and it makes up his mind. He leaves, backing out slowly. His action forces me to move and I leap off the bed, shoving the Scotch into CK’s hand, noting in annoyance the smug, arrogant look on his face. I storm past Sebastian and catch up with Cole, grabbing his arm and pulling him into the alcove.
“Don’t you dare,” I say to him.
“What?” he snaps at me.
“Make me choose between the two of you,” I hiss at him. “How many times do I need to tell you, I need you both.”
“That’s not what I was doing,” he says softly. “I was leaving you alone with him because I know you need him. It isn’t about me, or him. It’s about you. It’s always about you, Liv.” He curls a lock of hair behind my ear with a smile.
“Oh,” I say, giving him a sheepish look. “Sorry,” I mumble.
He sighs and pulls me to him. “Don’t be sorry. This is a fucking awkward situation. The sooner you speak to him about fixing this, the better.”
“I know,” I sigh. “Can I show you something?” I ask him, pulling away slightly.
“Okay,” he says.
I pull him out of the alcove and to my old bedroom. I push open the door and lead him into the gloom. “This was my bedroom,” I say quietly.
“This is yours?” he says, momentarily distracted.
I nod.