Again, I nod silently and switching my bikini for my dress again, I slip into my shoes and squeeze his hand as I walk past. I attempt nonchalance as I walk further away. They are both silent and watching me go. Once out of ordinary Vampire earshot, I use my advanced hearing to eavesdrop.
“Well?” CK asks him brusquely.
“Phase one complete,” Sebastian replies and that is the whole conversation. What the fuck are they talking about? Phase one of what? I don’t have much chance to ponder it any more as I have reached the entrance to the room and pull on the book lever to open it. I step inside and see Devon sitting on the sofa, glaring at nothing,
“Hey,” he says, lighting up when he sees me. “She’s sleeping.”
“Hey,” I reply softly with a nod. “You okay?”
“No,” he scorns. “I am the worst. I hate this. I should have just killed her mother and that prick that raped her instead of trying to find someone else to sire her.”
“What?” I roar at him, and he shushes me. “Devon! Why didn’t you say that was the problem? I would’ve killed him myself,” I add vehemently, slamming my fist into my palm.
“I know you would have. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want you to have to do that because of something I got involved in,” he says, taking my hand as I sit down.
“It’s not your job to protect me!” I say fiercely and them slam it shut. I know that’s exactly what CK says to me all the fucking time. I get it now why he gets so mad with me.
“Not that I am condoning this behavior from you either, but why didn’t you?” I ask after a hefty pause.
“A hundred years ago, fifty years ago, I would’ve without a second thought. Now, I dunno, it’s not as easy as all that,” he shrugs. “I should have. I wouldn’t be in this mess if I had.”
“You say you were trying to find someone to sire her?”
“Yeah, she wanted it, but I didn’t want her. She has a way…” He gives me a look that says it all.
“Because she looks like Elizabeth, you felt compelled to help her?” I inquire in a whisper so quiet, he has to lean forward to hear me.
“Something like that. What can I say, sexy blue-eyed brunette
s are my weakness.” He rolls his eyes at me and squeezes my hand. “What am I going to do?” he whispers back.
I heave a sigh and take him in my arms. He drops his head into my lap, and I stroke his hair. “We have to deal with it now. There’s nothing else for it.”
“A small part of me wishes that I’d left her to die,” he murmurs to me.
Yeah, me too. But I can’t say that to him. He feels awful enough as it is. “You are a good man, Dev. You couldn’t do that. Uhm, when did she…”
“Before I met her. She approached me while I was waiting for you one day. I took her on, but I should’ve dismissed her. She is way too young for a start…”
I snort with agreement, and he gives me blue-eyed glare. “Your sire is more of a pervert,” he points out.
I stifle my laughter, but refrain from bad-mouthing him. He saved me. I will never think bad about him for doing that.
“Who did you have in mind?” I ask as he turns his baleful glare away from me.
He sighs. “She was very specific. She wanted me and refused to entertain anyone else. I left it too long, but you know me…”
I do. He’d rather brush unpleasant topics under the rug for as long as he can. It’s his ‘thing’.
“Oh, Dev,” I say and lean down to kiss his cheek. “You are going to have to go with it now.”
“I know. I just don’t want to. I love you. I want to be with you. I don’t want to be with her. I used her to make myself feel better when Cole first arrived on the scene, and then I got too involved in her life when she found out what I was. What an ass,” he says with a massive sigh.
“I’m sorry,” I say quietly. “I feel like this is all my fault.”
He turns back to look at me and sits up. “It’s not. You tried your best; you have been doing your best to juggle everyone in your life. I get it. I understand it. It was a difficult transition for me from having you all to myself for so long, and then every man showing up to claim you. But I’m okay, Lizzie. You don’t have to worry about me. I had a tantrum in New York, but instead of talking to you, I ran. Also, my ‘thing’,” he says with a smirk.
I knew he would know that’s what I’m thinking.