He stops walking and turns to face me. His serious look makes my heart ache. “No, it isn’t,” he says.
“Tell me how to fix it,” I say desperately.
“You can’t,” he says. “I don’t think we can recover from this.”
My heart starts to thud. “What do you mean?” I ask.
“I lost you, Liv. Again. So close to losing you to the coma. I started to mourn for you. The Wolf lost his mate and he needed to grieve. I needed to grieve,” he says quietly, not looking at me. “I am lost and alone and even you being back isn’t fixing it.”
I gape at him as he turns to carry on walking. He’s mourning me? Like a Wolf would do when he loses his mate. “Linc, we can fix this. I will fix this,” I say determinedly.
“I don’t know how you can,” he says sorrowfully. We walk on, each lost to our thoughts. Me, trying furiously to think of something I can say or do to help him. I don’t really understand it and that’s half my problem. I’m not one of them.
We enter the house and I feel uncomfortable like I don’t belong here. I suppose I don’t really, especially now. He takes my hand and leads me through to the sitting room. We sit together and then he curls up with his head on my lap. He sighs and I feel his breathing getting heavier. He has fallen into an exhausted sleep and even though I need to talk to him about what he has said, I leave him. I have never seen him look so beaten down before and I feel awful. This is all my fault. I stroke his hair and try to give him comfort and reassurance in my touch that we will be fine. Time passes and I am soon feeling sleepy myself. I am startled out of my half doze by someone leaning over the back of the sofa to stare at me.
“You’ve lost him, you know,” Chrissy says.
“I’ll get him back,” I say quietly, not wanting to disturb him.
“Don’t think you can. He’s mourned you. As far as he is concerned you are dead to him,” she says nastily, and I flinch. That was really harsh.
“I will find a way. We will. He chose me. We belong together,” I say.
“Not anymore,” she says.
“How about you just fuck off and mind your own business,” I snap at her.
“This is my business. This Pack is my family. He is my family and you destroyed him. You should have stayed away,” she hisses at me.
I am itching to kick her arse again, but I don’t want to wake Lincoln by moving him to get up.
“He needs a Wolf,” she says, standing up straight and flicking her dark hair over her shoulder. “He needs someone who can give him what he needs, and you don’t. You won’t even mate with him as a Wolf.”
My mouth drops open. How does she know that?
“Oh, we all know, sweetheart,” she drawls. “It’s obvious. To us. You can fuck him all you like in human form, but he needs to take you in his natural form.”
This bitch is really starting to piss me off now. “And I suppose you think you can do better?” I ask.
“I know I can,” she says, hands on her hips. “I can be everything for him. I can be his true Alpha and he will thrive. We all will.”
She stalks off, leaving me cold. Is everything she said true? Can she be better for him than I am? I don’t give him my full attention, I barely see the Pack, I do shy away from mating as a Wolf as it just isn’t natural to me.
And there it is.
I’m not a Wolf.
I am a Demonic-Faerie-Dragon-Vampire that can Shift. That’s it. He should never have picked me to Pair with. I am bad for him. He deserves someone who can be with him full time and that person isn’t me. As much as I love him, I can’t choose him. With tears in my eyes, I Astral us upstairs to his bedroom. I bend over him and kiss him on his sweet sleeping mouth and his eyes pop open. I can see his pain and my tears drop onto his cheeks.
“Liv,” he says, sitting up. “Don’t cry, please, baby. We’ll try and sort this. I promise. Just give me time with you.”
I shake my head and tell him to wait there. I get up and go to find what I am looking for. When I lead Chrissy back into the room, he stands up with a cautious look on his face.
“Liv,” he says.
“Don’t,” I say, my throat tight with my pain. “I can’t be what you need, Linc. But she can,” I say and indicate Chrissy with my chin. “I can’t give you what you are asking of me, I’m sorry.”
“No!” he says, striding forward. “You can, you do. This is a setback. We will be fine.” He grabs my hand, but I pull away from him, my heart breaking.