“I will make you something to eat,” CK says to me.
I nod gratefully and he goes off to the kitchen.
“Xane, would you mind if I had a moment alone with Devon?” I ask.
He looks like he does mind, quite a bit, but he goes without a word, taking the Scotch with him.
“You look beat,” Devon remarks.
“I am,” I say and sink down onto the hearth with my back to the fire. He joins me and wraps his arms around me. I try desperately to find our connection, but it is lost for all eternity. I know he is trying too when he tightens his hold on me and sighs. He rests his chin on top of my head and gazes into the fire.
“You like it, don’t you?” I say, turning in his arms, but making sure to keep them around me.
“What?” he asks.
“The heat. You really, really like it,” I say with a smile.
“Yeah, I do,” he says with a sad smile back. “I don’t know if I would give it up now or not.”
“Acceptance?” I ask.
“You could say that. I am eager to learn more. I have already Astraported,” he says with pride.
I gawk at him. “Seriously?”
“Oh yeah, always was a quick study,” he says with a laugh.
“Oh, you are perfect,” I say and take his face in my hands. “You know that your place is here with me, though, right?”
“I do. Have you spok
en to Constantine about what I asked you?” he asks idly.
“Not yet,” I say carefully. “The timing hasn’t been right. He is feeling very out of sorts about losing me as his charge. To mention now that you and I want to get married as well would likely throw him off the deep end. I will. Just give me time.”
He nods stiffly, but he knows I’m right. I need him alive to be able to marry him.
“I can wait a bit longer,” he says. “Being alive is kind of needed.”
I stifle my snort of amusement. “Precisely,” I say and turn my head to kiss him.
He pulls me back to him and I sink against his chest and we fall into an easy silence. He runs his hands down my arms and then over my stomach, where he rests them for a moment before he yanks them away after a vicious, electric shock that leaves his hands vibrating.
“What the fuck was that?” he asks, bewildered and shaking out his numb hands.
I look away, not wanting to reveal my secret, even to him. It doesn’t seem right to tell Devon about the baby and not the father–although who that is still remains to be seen, of course.
“Lizzie?” he presses, knowing I am hiding something from him. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing,” I lie.
“I know you are hiding something so you might as well just tell me or I will keep bugging you,” he says.
Damn him. He will keep bugging me until I break. He is like a dog with a bone. “It’s a secret,” I start with and his eyes light up. “You cannot, and I mean cannot, tell anyone what I am about to tell you.”
“You know I won’t if you ask me not to,” he says, a bit miffed.
“I mean it, Dev. Promise me,” I insist.