ChapterNine
Amelia
I stare at my balcony doors, wondering if I’m really going to do this. I’m torn in two. I really want to, but I also know it’s so wrong. I close my eyes and imagine the other night when I was on the balcony with my mystery man. I think about the way his mouth felt against mine and the possessive way he touched me. I’d never felt more alive in my life.
My heart almost leapt out of my chest when he texted me today. I’d been so sure I’d never hear from him again. Now he’s coming here to have more of me.
But still, I’d had a bit of that same feeling today with Felipe. He drove me insane, but he also made my heart flutter. Even with how much I tell myself I dislike him, I’ve always been drawn to him for some reason. It’s maddening at times, and I don’t understand it. Handsome faces never made me act without reason and only on lust. There is something about Felipe that holds me captive, and I hate and love it equally.
It’s going to end badly for me. He’s going to destroy my heart. There’s only so long I’ll be able to hold on to my ice princess name when it comes to Felipe. For a man that doesn’t know me, he actually seemed to know how to handle me. He had me almost begging for more, and then when I also had a panic attack, he calmed me with only a few touches. Then again, I think Felipe knows how to handle all women.
As soon as that thought enters my head, I march over to the balcony doors and unlock them, leaving them cracked open. Jealousy really is a nasty bitch, and it’s getting worse too. I spent the afternoon googling Felipe. How does he have all this time to be going out to clubs at all hours of the night? Will this change once he is married? One thing I did work out was setting up an appointment to see about getting on birth control. At least I’ve gotten that handled.
I quickly shower and get ready for my own night out. Who knows what Felipe is out there doing even at this very moment?
Not really having any sort of lingerie to wear, I decide maybe I should just go to bed in my underwear. I don’t own anything sexy when it comes to undergarments, but this will have to do.
“Ames.” A knock sounds on my door, and I grab my robe. I tie it closed just as my mom enters my room. “How are you doing, sweetheart?” She walks over, wrapping me in a hug and kissing me on my cheek.
“Just getting ready for bed.” I force myself not to look over at the balcony doors.
“All right. We’ll leave right after breakfast for the bridal shop. Jennifer the wedding planner is going to meet us there to go over something. Oh, I also invited Glenda, but I’m not sure she’s coming.”
“Felipe’s sister?” I really don’t know much about her. Unlike her brother, she’s hardly ever seen out. She must keep to herself.
“I thought it was the polite thing to do.” Mom smirks, and it’s one I know well. It makes me think she’s up to something, but I’ve got enough going on to worry about what she’s up to. “Come here.” She sits down on my bed and pats the spot next to her.
“Is something going on?” My parents hadn’t said anything to me after Felipe left, but they knew something happened between us. Thankfully, they let it be.
“You tell me, honey.”
“I mean, nothing’s changed.” I shrug, not sure where she’s going with this. “His parents make me uneasy. I mean they’re nice,” I rush to add. “But I don’t see love there.” I don’t want that kind of marriage.
“Marriage is work. You get out of it what you put into it.” My parents make it seem so easy. My dad is so hopelessly in love with her. Sometimes I think they both might have rose-colored glasses on when it comes to love. Dad thinks Mom hung the moon and can do no wrong.
“What if the other half doesn’t want to put their all into it?”
“Felipe is a man of his word. I think if you give him a chance, you’ll see that.” She says it with such confidence.
“I don’t know. I’ve—”
“I don’t want to hear about rumors,” she says, cutting me off. This is hard. I want to trust my mom on this, but it’s my life. “Are you not attracted to him?”
“Of course I am.” I dip my head, my face starting to warm. “I think everyone is attracted to him. It’s annoying,” I huff.
“How do you think he feels? You’re a very beautiful girl, Amelia. You think he was the only man to ask for your hand?”
“What?” My head snaps back up. “You never told me that.”
“Why would I tell you about men I rejected?” I gape at her. “They weren’t worthy of you.” She raises her chin almost smugly, and I fight not to laugh. Mom is good for my ego.
“But Felipe is?”
She nods with confidence. She is so sure of this. While I might be questioning a lot of things right now, I know my mom. She always knows what she’s doing.
“I think Felipe will push you.”
“What does that mean? Have I done something wrong?” Where do I need to be pushed?! I’ve always been the perfect daughter. Even now, I’m not throwing a fit to get out of this.
“You’ve done nothing wrong. You never have. In fact, that’s what I mean.” I stare at her, even more confused than ever. “He makes your heart race, doesn’t he? You don’t know if you want to smack him or kiss him.” Mom has a dreamy look in her eyes as she says these things that are, in fact, true.
“I’m all over the place with him,” I admit.
“Because you care.” She might be right, but he’s not the only one who has me all over the place. She leans over and gives me another kiss on the cheek. “I want you to spend more time with him, Amelia.” She stands from the bed. “Get to know him.”
“But—” She cuts me off again.