It’s hard, so hard to fight him.
To fight the desire to be with him.
But this island will be the death of me.
Of this baby.
If it’s true.
I won’t even know for sure until I get back home.
And what if it’s true? I can’t raise it here … or at home by myself.
I shake my head and bury my head in my arms, wanting to escape.
“Jules …” His voice is so sweet, it breaks me.
“I can’t be pregnant. Not here.”
“I can take care of you and the baby,” he says.
If there even is a baby. We won’t know for sure until I’m home. Until a doctor can check me.
“It doesn’t matter,” I say, looking up to stare right into his eyes, even though mine are bright red and stained with tears. “There’s no medicine on this island. Nothing to support a child, let alone us. It’s not safe. Or healthy.”
“But …” He grabs my chin and wipes away the tears with his thumb. “We’ll have each other.”
He leans in and presses a kiss to my lips, sealing his feelings for me. It’s emotional blackmail, and I don’t even mind. All I want right now is for him to take away the pain.
“Let me love you,” he murmurs against my lips.
“I want to,” I reply, and he pulls back and looks me in the eye.
A pause follows.
“Come with me,” I blurt out.
I don’t know why, but it came to me out of nowhere.
“What do you mean?” He frowns.
“Come home with me,” I say, grabbing both his hands. “Together.”
“Home? Your home?” he mutters, his eyes glazing over me and across to the ocean. “I—”
“Why not?” I say.
“How?” he asks, shaking his head. “Those boats of yours will never make it past the waves. You’ll die out at sea.”
He pulls away and leans back, staring up at the sky.
“We can try to make a new boat. Together,” I say, clearing my throat.
It’s quiet for a while. Then he mumbles, “It won’t work, Jules. I’ve already been there. To your world. People don’t want me.”
“No, that’s not true,” I say. “They don’t know you …”
“They know a girl died because of me,” he growls. “That’s enough.”
I frown. “They’d understand if you’d explain it.”
“Jules …” He sighs. “This is my home.” He places his hand on mine. “I’m happy here. I just wish I could make you happy too.”
I blow out a sigh too and lie down on the sand. He joins me, and we both stare up at the sky filled with stars.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he says.
I nod and paint a picture in the sky where the zodiacs are.
“What’s that?” he asks.
“Lion.”
“A what?”
“It’s the zodiac of the lion.” He makes a confused face when I look at him. “You don’t know what a zodiac is or what a lion is?”
“Both,” he replies.
I chuckle. Is he messing with me or what?
“It’s not funny,” he says.
“You mean you’re serious?” I say, narrowing my eyes as I lean up briefly.
He nods.
“Well …” I lick my lips. “A lion is an animal with sharp teeth and claws, and a nice, yellow fur. And a zodiac is a combination of stars that form a line. People assign names to them. Every month has its own zodiac, so when you’re born you also have a zodiac assigned to you.”
“So I have one too?” he asks.
“Yep. When were you born?”
He pauses, and his face scrunches up again. “I … don’t know.” He swallows. “Father only taught me the basic things.”
I can’t believe it. How badly was he neglected? How little does he know about this world before he came here? Or even about himself?
I lie back down on the sand. “Tell me about your father.”
His face darkens. “What’s there to tell? He’s my father. He put me in a cage to fight for him. I don’t know anything else but that cage … and sometimes being let out.”
“So you don’t know anything about your time before you were put in that cage?”
He shakes his head.
So he’s been in a prison for most of his life.
Only let out occasionally. Like some caged animal.
Who would do this to their own son?
A monster.
My whole body begins to shake, and tears well up in my eyes.
“But I have this place now,” he mumbles. “And I swore I’d never go back there.”
“Good,” I say, smiling at him, whisking away the tears with my thumb.
No wonder Lock put me in a pit. It wasn’t just for his safety or mine … it was all he’s ever known. That which is dangerous should be kept in check. It’s how his father must’ve treated him, so he did the same to me.
I understand now. I understand why he did what he had to do. What motivates him.
He wants to survive. To live and be left in peace.
And when Pete, Ollie, and I came to this place, we ruined it for him. We destroyed a part of his only sanctuary. And for what? Was the research really worth it?