Locked (Savage Men 2)

Just like when I tell him to go and take something to the cash register, and he doesn’t even know what to do when he’s there even though I gave him the cash. The people judge him, laugh at him, and ridicule him behind his back.

It makes my blood boil.

But what can I do?

Even if I educate him and teach him everything there is, he’ll still be at a disadvantage. It’ll still remind him of the fact he’s different. That he never had a chance at the life they live.

Kids can learn … but adults?

It’s much harder, and I can tell it’s making him doubt himself so much. The more time we spend in the city, the more he’s fading away.

I knew then and there it was never going to work.

He has to go back.

So I’ve packed up our things and forced him back on the plane. Lock asked me what we were going to do, but I didn’t want to tell him because he’d try to persuade me that everything was fine when it wasn’t. So we flew back all the way to the island where we were taken with the boat. I asked around before we went, and there is a company willing to take him there.

But the moment Lock sees the ship, he turns around and stares at me in disbelief.

“We’re going back to the island?” The excitement in his eyes is too powerful to ignore.

I nod, smiling. “Yeah. It was supposed to be a surprise.”

He shakes his head and grabs my hands. “No. I can’t accept this.”

“It’s where you belong,” I say. “You said so yourself.”

He cocks his head. “But you don’t.”

I bite my bottom lip, not knowing how to respond. “I …”

“Stay,” he says, looking straight into my eyes. “This world … the people … are your home.”

I shake my head, my eyes turning watery. “No.”

“Yes. I want you to be happy,” he says.

“Please …”

“No. I can’t leave knowing you’re not happy.” He tips up my chin. “Your love means everything to me, but not at the cost of your happiness. Go home.”

A tear rolls down my cheek as I open my mouth, but he stops me from talking by covering my mouth with his and sucking out the anxiety and fear. His kisses numb me to the point of letting it all go.

“I love you,” he whispers. “But you need to be here.”

I peer over his shoulder to the man standing on the docks, waiting for Lock. “You … should go,” I say.

He nods and slowly lets me go. “Find a man who can give you what you need,” he says. “Find someone who will call you his with pride.”

I lick my lips, unable to smile. The cold immediately returns to my body, and I shiver as he turns around and walks to the man, convinced this is the right choice.

But I’m not so sure.

What do I need?

What is it that I want in life?

I love my job; I love my house. I love my family and co-workers. I love my city and everything this world has to offer. But without him, it’s … empty.

And even though guilt eats away at my heart, I know I made the right decision the moment he smiles as he steps onto the deck and the boat starts to move away from me.

I wave until it disappears.

And I’m crushed by the weight of my own heart begging me to follow him.

Instead, I turn around and leave.

Accompanying Song: “The Rocket Builder” by Johann Johannson

I can’t drive myself to get on a plane back.

Instead, I book a room at the nearest hotel and fall on the bed. I burrow my face into the pillow and cry, my screams turning into mere soft squeaks in the fabric. Every passing second feels like an eternity in this dark, damp room. After a while, I have no more tears to cry. I sit up and stare at the wall in front of me. The emptiness around me makes me feel sick to my stomach.

Too nauseous.

I quickly jump off the bed and run into the bathroom, throwing it all up in the toilet.

When I’m done, I turn on the shower and step under, letting the water rinse away my pain and sickness.

I rest my head against the wall as the water cascades down my back.

I feel hot and cold at the same time.

Everything aches.

My body. My stomach. Even my goddamn breasts.

I suck in a breath, my eyes flashing open.

What if …?

Turning off the shower, I jump out and grasp a towel, drying myself off as quickly as I can. After putting on my clothes as fast as I can, I grab my purse and rush out the door. I ask the concierge for the closest pharmacy and hail a cab to take me there.

The lady at the cash register looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind, so I quickly go and pay the cabby to take me back to my hotel. When I get back up to my room, I throw the box away and take out the test.