Locked (Savage Men 2)

Blowing out a big breath, I sit down on the toilet and pee on the stick.

My heart is pounding when I place it next to the sink and stare at it.

Time seems like it’s infinite, and I can’t stop tapping my feet and biting the inside of my cheek.

That’s when the stripe appears.

For a moment my heart stops beating.

A second one appears.

Trembling, I pick up the stick and read the back of the box.

Pregnant …

I’m pregnant?

Chapter Thirty-Three

Accompanying Song: “She Remembers” by Max Richter

Juliet

“Mom?”

My phone is shaking in my hand, just like my voice.

“Honey? Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“No …” Tears are already rolling across my cheek.

“Tell me what happened. Where are you?”

“A h-hotel. I j-just said g-goodbye t-to Lock,” I stutter, almost unable to pronounce the words.

“What?”

“He’s back on the island.” I sink down to the floor in front of the window.

“Why? I thought you two were happy?”

“I was … We were …” I mutter, wiping away the tears. “But he belonged there.”

“No … No!” she yells. “What kind of nonsense is that? You two loved each other!”

My lips part, but I don’t know how to respond.

“How …?”

“Honey, I’ve seen how you two look at each other. You’re crazy mad for each other. A mama knows those things. She can feel it.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I interject, not wanting to hear how badly I loved him.

I know exactly how I feel about him.

How I felt.

None of it matters anymore.

He’s gone.

“Love always matters,” Mom says with her stern voice. “Honey, why didn’t you go with him?”

“What? No …” I sigh. “He said … I don’t know. I … this is my home.”

“So? You can make a new home. You like him, don’t you?”

I start to fumble with the carpet, but then my hands still find their way to the pregnancy test lying right beside me on the floor. I pick it up and stare at it.

“Mom, I’m pregnant.” It’s quiet for so long, I’m not even sure she’s still here. “Mom?”

“Oh, god. Pregnant?” she mutters after a while. “I’m going to be a grandma?”

I chuckle and rub my forehead. “Mom …” I sigh.

“Sorry, I get excited when I think about it.”

“So you think I should keep it?”

Now, she sighs. “Honey, you should do what you want the most.”

“I don’t know what I want.” That’s why I called her.

“Follow your heart. What does your heart tell you?” she asks. “Does it say stay and go back to your work? Live your life? Or does it say be with him?”

I bite my lip and mumble, “I …”

“Listen,” she says. “Don’t think. Close your eyes and listen.”

I do what she says while holding the test tight and let the energy from my body decide my voice.

When I was on the island, I wanted to go home so badly.

But now that I’ve been there, it’s not what I remember it to be.

It’s not the same anymore.

Not since I met him.

Maybe that’s why I was so reluctant to fall.

He changed me in more ways that I can possibly imagine.

Because of him, I’m not even remotely interested in my own job anymore. In the science behind life. All I want is to live it … to experience it in real life. To finally live after feeling like I’ve been standing still, frozen, my entire life.

And the thought of doing it with him brings a smile to my face.

“I think you’ve already decided.”

I smile to myself. “Thanks, Mom …”

“Don’t worry about it. But what are you going to do now?”

“I …” I don’t even know.

“I’ll take care of all your business. Just ask and tell me your info, and I’ll do the rest.”

I laugh. “Thank you, I appreciate it.”

“Anything for my baby girl and my soon-to-be grandbaby.” She giggles.

“Right, but … I can’t.” I shake my head. “It’s dangerous. If I’m pregnant, I can’t birth a baby out there.”

“Why not? Women have been having children since god knows how long. They didn’t have hospitals back then. You can do it.”

“But what about medicine? Food? Proper diet?” I get up from the floor. “There’s no internet, no running water, no electricity. There are not even books.”

“You don’t need that.” She scoffs. “Your dad and I went hiking up the mountains for weeks on end when we were young. We never missed any of that. We managed using our tools.”

Oh no, here she goes again with those stories. “Yeah, Mom, I know. You’ve told me more than once.”

“My point is, if you go there prepared, you shouldn’t miss anything. Just bring a generator, one you can power yourself. And get some dry shampoo and some books. A small water filter for drinkable water. Maybe a porta potty.”

“Mom!”

“I know, I know. The point is … you’re making up reasons now.”

“I know I can buy all that stuff and bring it with me. But what if it’s still not enough?”