I nod. “I knew Hugo wouldn’t let you leave once you got home. I did what I had to do to get what I needed to bury him.” I look down at my feet and sigh. “Hugo is a nasty piece of work. You have no idea what he’s capable of, and he’s going to get what he deserves…but you, you didn’t deserve any of this, and for that, I’m truly sorry.” I apologize.
“Are you going to kill him?” Ezra questions looking up at me fretfully, and when I only stare back at her, she clamps her hand over her mouth to smother the sob that rips its way out of her.
“I have too,” I say and press my molars together when she lowers her gaze to the ground and weeps. “He didn’t show an ounce of mercy or remorse on my parents, and I will not either. I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” She cries. Lifting her hand, she slaps me hard across the cheek. “Look at what you’ve done to me! You’ve wrecked my fucking life, and you’re sorry?!” She shoves me back.
“You took everything from me!” She sobs, curling her trembling fingers in my jacket, she shook me repeatedly, and I let her. “You took my trust! My dignity! You took my heart, and you broke it! You broke me! Was it worth it, huh? WAS IT WORTH IT?!” She screams in my face.
“What did I ever do to you?! Tell me, Damien, what did I ever do to you to deserve this?!” I stood still. “I didn’t kill your parents!” All I could do was look at her with sorrow. I couldn’t say a fucking thing to defend myself because she’s right. I wrecked her whole life like her Dad had wrecked mine. “Don’t just stand there and look at me. Say something! Why did you punish me for something my father did to you?!”
I wipe away the tears and shake my head. “What do you want me to say, Ezra. Do you think it’s easy for me to be standing here in front of you after everything I have done to you? Do you think I enjoy seeing you like this? There’s no graver punishment than watching you shed a tear because of me because each one feels like a fucking knife in my heart.” I tell her taking a step closer, and she watches me, her azure eyes drowned in tears.
“Everything I did, I did because I was hurting. I’m still fucking hurting, Ezra. No matter what I did or who I killed, I couldn’t put out that fire burning for revenge inside of me. I made a promise on my parent’s grave that I will avenge their death, and I have to keep that promise, Ezra, I have too. It’s all I’ve been living for.” I press my forehead to hers, and she closes her eyes crying quietly when I cup her face in my hands.
“You’re no better than him, Damien. You’ll be wrecking my life just like he did yours. If you can live with yourself, then go ahead, do it. Kill him, but keep in mind that you'll be dragging me down with him.”
“Don’t,” I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut. “Don’t ask me to make a choice Ezra. I can’t.”
Ezra pulls away and chokes on a sob. “Then do what you have to do.”
“I’m sorry, Ezra, please forgive me. I love you.”
“Love me?” She shoves me away. “Is this what you consider loving someone?” She cries, pounding her fists into my chest again and again. “How many times are you going to hurt me, huh?! How many times are you going to break me?! How many times are you going to wreck me!” Ezra sobs defenselessly, and I wrap my arms around her, holding her against me.
“I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry.” I apologize, pressing my forehead to her temple. “I do love you. If you can’t believe anything please, believe that.”
“An hour ago, I would have given everything just to hear you say that, but now… it means nothing.” Ezra pulls back and looks up at me. “Your words mean absolutely nothing to me anymore.” She sniffles and walks back. “I never want to see you again.”
I catch her hand before she slips away. “You don’t mean that.” She shakes her head and pulls her hand back.
“I do. Something this broken can never be fixed. Even if it were, it would never be the same. I’ll always be the daughter of the man that killed your parents, and you’ll be the man that killed my father. How am I supposed to look at you or kiss you know that?” She explains, dropping her gaze from mine. “Everything I thought I knew about you was a lie. You’re a completely different person to the man I fell in love with.”
I lift her gaze to meet mine, and I rub her jaw. “That’s not true. I’m still me. Everything we shared, all our moments, they were all real Ezra. You have to believe that. I never faked my attraction for you, my feelings, the kisses, the first time we made love…”
I brush my thumb along her bottom lip. “How crazy I am about these lips,” I whisper, brushing my lips against hers. Her lips quiver against my own, but she doesn’t pull away. “The way your eyes set my soul on fire.” I breathe just before I kiss her softly, and she stills for a second when I brush her lips apart and deepen the kiss. We continue to kiss slow and thoroughly as though I was trying to engrave every crevice of her mouth into my brain. Ezra’s fingers curl at my neck, drawing me closer as we deepen the kiss.
I tangle my fingers in her hair, sucking her tongue in a way I know she loves; she responds with a breathy moan before she rips her mouth from mine and shakes her head.
“Stop.” She pants, her eyes closed. “I can’t.”
I press my forehead to hers and bite my bottom lip. “Ezra,” I sigh in between pants. “I’m fucking crazy about you. Please don’t shut me out.” Ezra opens her eyes and looks at me, surprised. “No more lies.”
“Damien, I can’t.” She licks her licks and sighs. “Too much has happened between us. Too much has been broken. If we couldn’t work before, we definitely can’t now.”
I frown, and as hard as it was to swallow, I nod and press my lips to her forehead. “Let me drive you back.”
“No, it's fine. I can go.” She tells me, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear as we pull apart. I give her a look that tells her that I will not take no for an answer, and she relents and nods.
“Okay, fine.” We walk back to the car, which was parked a couple of feet away.
I open the door for her, and she averts her gaze, slipping into the passenger seat. I close the door and walk around the car. The drive was short back to Jordin’s apartment complex. I pull up outside and turn to look at her. She unfastens her seatbelt and looks at me too. “Thanks.” I nod, keeping my eyes locked with hers. She doesn’t make a move to get out, and we continue to stare at each other. I just want to kiss her again. The way she’s licking her lips, I know she’s thinking about it too, but I need to respect her wishes and leave her alone.
I reach over and take her hand in mine. I lift it to my lips and kiss her knuckles. “Can I walk you inside?” She looks uncertain for a moment. “I’m not ready to say goodbye just yet.”
Ezra clears her throat and nods. “Sure.”
We get out of the car and walk to the entrance of the building. Someone was already walking out, so I grab the door, holding it open for her, and we step inside the building, walking toward the elevator. Ezra pushes the button and looks up at me. “I guess this is goodbye then.” She says meekly.