“Do I want to know?” I’ve been wrestling with this for a few days in my mind. Oddly, it’s not about the fact that Daman once killed people for a living. No, it is the fact that I might be avoiding something that does need to be taken care of. Am I ignoring the fact that a terrible man could be out there doing terrible things because I don’t want to face what should be done? Maybe. But who appointed me to be judge and jury? This is the inner struggle I’ve been dealing with.
“No.” His hand comes up to my face. His thumb brushes along my lips. “But if you ask, I will always tell you.”
“I know that.” I kiss his thumb. Daman might be a killer but he is mine. He’d do anything for me. “If I asked you to stay tonight would you?”
“I would do anything you asked me.” Yet his eyes plead with me not to ask this of him.
“On a scale of one to ten, how bad is what you found? Without telling me any of the details that will keep me up at night.” His jaw hardens before he answers my question. His hands cup my face.
“On a scale of things I’ve seen in my life, an eight. On a scale of what I think you know about the world”—he kisses my forehead—“a twelve.”
“You think I’m naïve.” I look up at him.
“I do not think like your father.” How did he know my mind went there?
“Then what do you think?”
“I think I don’t want the darkness of the world touching you if it doesn’t have to. I’ve seen enough of it for the both of us. You’re my light. Your innocence is something I live to protect now. I want to protect everything about you.”
“For a man who doesn’t talk much, you sure know how to get me with your words.” I pull him down for another kiss. “I trust you. Do what you need to but know if you don’t come home to me you’ll shatter my world.” He looks surprised at my response.
“Home?” He smiles.
“Yes, home.” I smile back. Not only is most of my stuff here but Daman himself has been turning this place into a home. What were once bare walls and tables are now filled with decorations and life. It actually looks as though two people live here now.
“I will be in our bed tonight and every night after. I promise you this.”
I tilt my head back, offering my mouth for a kiss. He takes it.
“I’m serious, Daman. Don’t do something to get yourself taken from me. That will hurt me more than anything in this world.”
“I would never hurt you,” he vows to me.
“That’s good because I’m in love with you and we’re building a life here together.” I push on his chest. He takes a dazed step back as I hop down from the counter. I fight my smile at how shocked he is at what I said.
A knock sounds at the door. “Open up! It starts in a few minutes.” The always late Trin shouts through the door.
“That’s why we have DVR,” I shout back as I head toward the door, leaving my hitman to stand in the kitchen. I open the door to see Trin standing there in her pajamas.
“We have to watch it live. People ruin it on Twitter.” She pushes inside, dropping her stuff down in the living room.
“You don’t have to look at Twitter,” I remind her.
“I like following the hashtag and seeing if everyone is thinking what I’m thinking.”
“You like to talk shit.” I laugh.
“That too.” She looks over to Daman. “What’s wrong with him?”
I wave my hand. “He’s all shocked that I love him.” I fake an eye roll. Trin snorts.
“Did you see his face when I said you guys act like a married couple? That shit lit up like a Christmas tree.”
I look over to Daman, who has finally moved. He’s coming right toward me. I try and think back to what I’d said when Trin had mentioned marriage earlier. I don’t care if I get married or not. I just want to be with Daman. It’s not that I wouldn’t marry him, I just always figured people don’t get married until they are older. But what the heck do I know? When Daman reaches me, he lifts me off my feet.
“I don’t need to see you guys making out!” Trin half shouts. “I’ll go away while you guys say your goodbyes.” She darts out of the living room. I rush to put my hand over Daman’s mouth.
“You don’t say those words to me until you get back here,” I tell him. He kisses the palm of my hand and nods his head yes. “You say them when you slip into our bed before you make love to me.” I drop my hand away from his mouth. “Now kiss me and go do what needs to be done.”