It isn't safe.
Please bring her back to me.
Talk to me.
Answer the fucking phone!
Bring her home.
On and on they went, over the course of the apparent four hours we'd sat in The Bird Lounge. My gut twisted with a mix of pain and guilt. I didn't have a home, not if what Mia had said about Lino was true. I wouldn't settle for a husband who cheated, for a man who would never love me.
I'd rather be alone.
I went back to my seat as the next singer started his set, reclaiming my lone table in the corner and getting lost in the twang of his voice while Yavin studied his phone. It was something so uncommon in Chicago, so refreshing to hear something entirely different. It sounded so sad, like it echoed the hollow feeling yawning inside my chest.
“Maybe we should call him,” Yavin caved, giving me a guilty look. I hated that I’d put him in the position where he had to choose between his loyalty to me and his loyalty to Lino.
“You can text him,” I agreed. “Just tell him I’m safe.”
Eventually, when the singer’s set finished, I stood from my table and decided to move on. Go to the bathroom and let Yavin take me to his place for the night. I stood, picking up my purse, and turning to find Lino standing in the doorway. He was drenched and rain came down in a heavy downpour through the window of
the door behind him.
My eyes went to Yavin, taking in the guilty way he stared at his feet. Lino gave him a look that seemed to communicate that they’d be having words at some point, but I didn’t stick around to tell Yavin how betrayed I felt. I couldn’t, not with the way Lino’s eyes burned into me. Not with the way the hair stood up on my arms and seemed to scream at me that I was in grave danger.
With a swallow, I turned. My feet couldn't move quickly enough, I needed to escape, needed to get away. The hall at the back had an emergency exit behind the bathrooms, and I made for it. I'd barely gotten through the door when the rain instantly pelted me and drenched my hair. My heels slipped in a puddle as I made my way down the alley, and the sound of the door blowing wide open resounded behind me with a bang.
"Samara!" he roared, and I didn't allow myself to stop. Couldn't stop.
I hadn't fortified myself, hadn't found a way to face him and see the lies in his eyes for what they were. I'd always had a blind spot where he was concerned, and I needed a plan before I dealt with him. His hand caught my arm, spinning me in place until I was pressed against his chest and all I could see was the way his lungs heaved.
With his grip still on me, he backed me up, his presence so looming and seeming so much larger than normal that I had no choice but to comply. When my back hit the brick of the building, I gasped. His head tipped down, glaring down at me with a savage look in his eyes that made me swallow. Fear swelled.
The first time in my life I could ever remember being afraid of Lino.
Water dripped from his face, from the thick hair that was usually so flawless to splatter off my face and run inside my jacket.
It was so fucking cold.
"Lino, please," I begged. "Let me go. Just let me go."
"I will never let you go. Do you understand me, vita mia?" The whisper was anything but a sweet declaration, nothing but warning and rage in his voice. "Do you have any idea how fucking terrified I've been? Connor could have found you! He could have finished the job this time." My heart broke, the reminder that everything was fake. Everything was about my protection. Not about his feelings for me that didn't exist.
"I'm sorry I scared you. Now, as you can see, I'm fine. I was smart and I called Yavin to protect me, now fucking let me go!"
When his head jolted back, I realized I'd rarely, if ever, genuinely yelled at him. I'd never needed to. My tears mingled with the rain, sliding down my cheeks until it felt like my raw heart was outside my chest, on display and ready to be shredded into a million pieces. "What did she say to you?" His voice softened, some of the anger fading when he cupped my cheek.
"It doesn't matter. She didn't say anything I shouldn't have already seen. I convinced myself that you felt the same way, that this was real," I sobbed. "And it never was. It never will be. I appreciate that you tried to keep me safe, but I want to go to Yavin's. I think it's best I stay with him until we can get the marriage annulled. I'm sure you have the connections to—"
"Don't you fucking dare finish that sentence." He slid his body into mine, his hand reaching down to force my legs apart and make space for him between them. I glanced around the alley, grateful as all Hell that the overcast sky had gone dark.
"Stop it," I swatted at his hand when it inched my skirt up my thighs.
"You're my wife. You will always be my wife. Get that through your stubborn fucking head," he grunted, leaning down to press a kiss to my lips that I turned my head away from. "Whatever Mia told you, I can promise you it isn't true, but I can't do that unless you talk to me."
Could he see me bleeding? Could he see the way my heart bled, and my soul cracked inside my chest?
I didn't speak, couldn't voice the words when his eyes stared down at me so harshly. They softened again, and he touched his forehead to mine. "You really have no clue, do you?" he whispered, his voice suddenly filled with a pain that felt a lot like mine.