“Cold-seeping everlass.” I shook my head, meeting Dee there and then looking over the various ingredients she had gathered. “Have you ever heard of such a thing?”
“No. I’ve also never heard anyone else claim it matters when everlass is harvested, or that cedar is better, or that the type of water used with it alters the potency but only with certain elixirs… The list goes on.”
Dee shook her head, continuing to look over the various elixirs that had been started and a couple that had been moved off to the side, clearly abandoned.
“We’re not helping as we ought,” she finally said. “A child is showing us up, Arleth. We’ve been too complacent. We need to start using our brains and show her that we are just as competent as she is.”
I laughed as I gathered the materials we’d need. We were creating a stock of the elixirs and draughts for Nyfain and the kingdom. These had always fetched the highest prices in trade. When he opened communication and commerce with the other kingdoms and traveling merchants, he’d have something to sell.
“And we need to teach her to fly,” Dee said as she braced her hands on her hips and looked at the books still splayed open under a protective sheet at the back of the worktable. Finley seemed to value books very highly. I wondered if Nyfain had showed her the secret section of the library. I hadn’t noticed anything out of place in there, though order had never ruled in there. “Do you see how she lands? She is utterly reckless. She’ll kill herself, and then where will this kingdom be? Your son will go mad with grief.”
“He would,” I murmured. Nyfain had found true love. His true mate. It was clear to all who saw them together that they were made for each other. It was as sweet as it was inspiring. It almost made me want to start looking again. Maybe find someone who suited me so I could fully experience love again without the fear that a jealous king would kill us both if he found out.
I took a deep breath. “And she needs to teach us how she works with will. We can all do it to some degree, but I should have enough power to use it the way she does. She’s weaponized it…”
“If you’d had that ability, the king might not have been so liberal with his fists,” Dee muttered.
We got to work. Dee sang softly, and I occasionally harmonized as we went through the familiar steps.
It took me a while to gather myself, but finally I said, “He came to check on me this morning.” My eyes filled with moisture that I blinked away. Dee looked up. “Like he always used to, remember? He passed a moment with me in the garden.”
A warm smile pulled at her lips. “He has forgiven you.”
A tear overflowed. I couldn’t help it. “Yes, I think so.”
“And Finley? I couldn’t quite understand you through your slurring last night.”
Dee had helped me get back to my room through the secret passages so no one would see their former queen blind drunk. It was a path we’d traveled many times in the past. My old life had been full of stress and ugly emotions. Sometimes I’d needed a night of overindulgence. Other times, it had been fun to drink a few glasses and have a singsong.
Last night, though, I’d cried so hard I threw up. Despite what I’d gone through with the king, the last sixteen years had been the hardest of my life. I’d been separated from my son. Unaware of whether he was alive or dead, of whether he was suffering…
A chasm had opened up in my chest, a hollow that was a constant presence while I waited for…something, anything to change.
And then, when he was freed, and he doubted me—
I wiped away another tear as more welled up.
I’d lived in agony these past few days, compounded by the sixteen years I’d spent wondering and worrying. When he’d been gracious enough to allow me to stay, to resume my life with him…
It was still hard to get around the emotion. I’d missed him more than a person would miss air. He was my son, my little boy—to lose him was to lose a large piece of myself, and knowing I was the one who’d caused it…
“You need to find a way out of the darkness, Arly,” Dee said softly, coming over to wrap her arms around me. “He’s safe, as much as he can be. He’s free. You’re free. The mad king can’t hurt him now, and the demon king should not try if he knows what’s good for him. It’s time to find peace.”
I nodded, using the back of my hand to cover my nose and mouth as I tried to master my emotions. She was right. That time had passed. I needed to learn to live with my guilt so I didn’t miss any more of my son’s life. So I could enjoy seeing him mated and happy.