Jonas
Manhattan, New York
Isat at the table in the corner and stared down at the tumbler of whiskey the waitress had brought to me almost a half hour ago. I usually wasted no time slamming back shots, but tonight, I had a lot on my mind. My attorney had been able to procure a copy of Tori’s birth certificate and there’d been no father listed on it. Kenzie had made sure there was no tie to me in any way. I supposed it made it easier to just give away our child as if she was nothing, and I now had a decision to make. My attorney would proceed with the adoption overturn if I truly wanted to, but there was a child to consider.
My lifestyle was a busy one, and a daughter would complicate it greatly. Could I really take her away from the stability she knew and thrived in just to drag her from one Courtland property to another? There was the matter of school, friends, extra curriculars, and all things I didn’t have to worry about with anyone right now. I worked extremely long hours and spent more time on the Courtland jet than I did in any one place. That was no life for a child.
If I chose to uproot her simply out of spite, that would be what I would essentially be doing to her anyway. I wanted a chance to get to know my daughter, though. I was just now getting a hold on my addiction, but part of that was due to the work distractions I had. I wanted to be a doting father, but could I stand up in court and promise to be one? I couldn’t and would likely end up being the absent father that would grab her a present or two on my way into town, then leave her to be raised by the staff I hired. I was really in no place to make such a life-altering decision, but my pride and anger wouldn’t wane. Neither would the feelings I still possessed for the woman who drove me to this point.
After I left her sister’s house that day, I had only heard from her right after. Her voicemails seemed to be all over the place, and her last message only took that dagger and twisted it deeper in my chest.
“I love you, and I always have,”she’d told me, and I wanted to believe her, but I couldn’t.
Once upon a time, I would’ve run for the hills if a woman told me that. Hell, I usually kept running shoes close to me when one wanted to repeat a one-night stand. Not Kenzie. Even after the events on the roof a decade earlier, I still harbored some foolish desire to see her again, even though I had convinced myself it’d just been to alleviate my own guilt. I shared things with her I had never shared with anyone, except my therapist. She seemed to believe fate had placed Kenzie back into my life and that I was to explore my feelings for her. I did, and what good did it do me? I ended up looking like a fool as she ended up having the last laugh, anyway.
“Fucking women,” I cursed under my breath, not even realizing someone was nearby until his shadow fell over the table. I looked up at my friend and tried to force a smile, but knew immediately by his concerned expression that I’d failed. “Hey, Anton!”
“I’m not used to seeing you look so fucking lost, JC. What’s up?”
I was usually the life of the party and had been for as far back as I could remember. Even when all my friends had settled down, I was still the carefree party type. I could now see how women had helped to settle each of them. I had one for a single fucking night and lost her just like that. Well, it hadn’t been my fault this time. I had gone to Arizona to claim the woman I loved, and never once did I think I would run into a child I helped create back in high school.
“Just tired,” I responded.
“Bullshit. I’ve seen you fly in from across the globe and still have the energy to flirt with a few bartenders. What—”
I let out a sigh, then interjected, “I’m just not in the mood for women right now.”
It hadn’t been a lie, and when Anton smirked and quickly sat down, I arched a brow at him. “I never thought I’d see the day. Damn, if only Cas, Mase, and Kris could be here to see it, too.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked as I scrubbed my hands down my face.
“You’ve fallen in love, haven’t you?” The question sounded crazy enough, but it was true. I disregarded his question and remained silent. “Who is she?”
“Who is who?” The frustration I felt came through in my tone, but it was no deterrent for him.
“You know what I’m talking about. What woman has you sitting here looking like a lovesick puppy with a wounded paw?”
Anton knew me very well. The two of us had always been close since he became a Titan. I’d attended his wedding and had even been there for him when his marriage had fallen apart. Thankfully, he’d been able to make things work with Elsa again, so perhaps he might have some guidance for me.
“Her name is MacKenzie Broderick,” I told him as he tipped back his shot, then I added, “and she is the mother of my child.”
He spit out of his whiskey, and I picked up a nearby napkin and dabbed the top of my cellphone. “What?”
“It’s a long fucking story, Ant. The two of us were a thing in high school. Well, she thought we were...”
I went on to tell him about the dare that Kristopher and I had made with one another and I could see his instant disapproval. It wasn’t as if any of them expected me to be a stand-up guy, especially in my youth, and I somewhat wondered if the shock was more about Kris than it was me. The man had become a very successful doctor and was now married, with a kid on the way. I didn’t realize until that moment that I was now envious of him. I hadn’t gotten to be there for my child before or after her birth, but he would with his.
“Damn,” Anton finally responded after everything about Phoenix was out in the open.
I would never admit it to him, but being able to talk about the feelings inside of me rather than keeping them all bottled up did make me feel a marginal amount better. I was still hurt as hell, though. Nothing Kenzie could say or do would make me forgive her, which I basically blurted out.
“Maybe understanding why she did it might help, JC.”
Leave it to Anton to be the voice of reason. I knew he had gone through some things with Elsa, and because of that, I also knew he had wisdom to impart whether I wanted to take it or not.
“Things ended pretty badly between us, and I doubt she wants to ever lay eyes on me again. I’m honestly surprised she didn’t just have an abortion and be done with it.” On the flight back from Arizona, that question had plagued me, and I’d eventually chalked it up to her religious background.
“That’d be understandable, but so would adoption. I’m assuming she allowed her sister to adopt the child because she couldn’t have one of her own.” I nodded at his assumption, having read that in the files I’d been able to obtain. “Then, she was trying to give your daughter a better life. Did the girl seem okay when you saw her?”