His arms tensed by his sides, his gaze slowly turning cold. His jaw clenched as he mulled over his answer, savoring it on his tongue before releasing it into the air. “I wouldn’t have said it unless I meant it.”
No.
“I meant every word. And I’m still waiting for an answer.”
Why was he doing this to me? “I already told you how I felt…”
“That was months ago. Things are different now.”
“No, they aren’t. I told you what I wanted. I told you I wouldn’t change my mind.”
His hands moved to his hips, and he kept his stare on me, his face tinting slightly with rage. The air around him started to steam. The tension was so sharp, it was cutting deep into my skin.
“You only ask someone to marry you if you love them. So, I don’t understand why you asked in the first place.”
His eyes narrowed slightly. “Sofia.”
I didn’t want to believe it. I refused to believe it. “Don’t make me hurt you…”
“I’m not making you do anything.”
“Yes, you are.” I covered my face with my hands and slowly dragged them down, wishing this moment weren’t real, that it was just a nightmare. I wasn’t about to lose this man in a bitter and painful breakup.
“Sofia.” He stepped closer to me then grabbed my wrists. “Look at me.”
I kept my gaze averted, wanting to disassociate myself from this moment. “No…”
“Now.”
My eyes shifted to his face, seeing the command in his eyes. Hades was a man I wanted in my life, but I didn’t want him close to my heart. Marriages never worked. Women became slaves. They lost their independence. They lost their ability to do anything because the man controlled every aspect of their life. They beat you or raped you. I was too young to subject myself to a relationship doomed to fail. “I don’t love you…” I didn’t open my heart to anyone, not even him. I was too young to give it a chance, too inexperienced to know what I wanted. How could I love a man I’d crossed off my list the moment we met?
His hands released my wrists as his eyes fell in pain. He took it as a blow to the chest, like he had been expecting me to give a different answer. His hands returned to his sides, and his pained expression slowly morphed into one of anger. “Fuck.” His eyes shifted back and forth as he looked into mine before he turned away and slowly paced to the other side of the room. He ran his fingers through his hair then down his face, his fingertips resting against his lips.
I watched him absorb my response. I wished I could give him a different answer, but I’d told him what I wanted from the beginning. I told him I didn’t want love or commitment. I just wanted to have fun. He kept pushing me, arrogant enough to think I would change my mind. I was only twenty-two years old… Marriage was the last thing on my mind.
I grabbed my clothes from the floor and quickly put them on.
He didn’t turn around to look at me. His arms were crossed over his chest, his muscular back ripped with muscle. Everything was tight, like he was internalizing all the rage that was about to make him explode. “Get out.” His voice came out quietly, a direct contradiction to the rage he was feeling.
“I told you—”
His voice rose in volume, so loud it echoed off every corner of the high ceiling. “Get the fuck out.” He finally turned around and looked at me, so much hatred in his gaze. He’d loved me moments ago, but now I was the number one hit on his list. Our affection died like it had never lived in the first place. All our memories were tainted by this moment in time. Now he treated me like one of his enemies, like the man he beat to death in the alleyway. Love could turn to hate so quickly…like that was all we ever knew.
Tears welled up in my eyes and started to drip down my cheeks.
He didn’t give a damn. “Goodbye, Sofia.”
19
Hades
I sat at the bar with an empty glass in front of me. People talked around me, the TV was on in the background, and the bartender poured rounds for everyone having a good time. I couldn’t even look at my watch and check the time because I was so drunk. My gaze was blurry. I had to cut myself off because I held my liquor so well that most people had no idea how intoxicated I was.
Drinking was the only solution to my problem…so that’s what I did.
Sofia never called.
Not that I expected her to. Not that I wanted her to. If she did, I’d just tell her to fuck off. She made her desires very clear; she didn’t want anything serious. I’d said the same sentence to so many other women. But I chose to do whatever I wanted.